Most recent to first published in the Burford Times
Coverage of the
Men’s Slo-Pitch League should really culminate, so here it goes! Enjoy:
Round 3… FIGHT!
The teams of the
Burford Men’s League got off to an early start on their final day of play… some
earlier than others, due to performance—or lack thereof–– the previous
night. Most notably, Enviro Tec had to
play early despite being one of the two final teams playing the previous night
(as well as playing a doubleheader late into Wednesday night), because they
lost the night before to Ackland’s. That game, essentially, was played for a
few extra hours on the alarm clock.
This morning
match for Enviro came against the Bushwackers of Bon Lane. The winner of this
game would face the winner of the simultaneous game, which pitted Bre Haul
against Muir’s.
Bon Lane started
by recording the first two batters as outs. However, Enviro managed to convert
the next four batters in a two-out rally.
Bon Lane must’ve
been partying the night before, because they were useless at the bat. Through
the seventh, they had just the one run.
Enviro had no
such trouble, managing 21 runs… 14 by the fourth inning. Leading the way were
Steve Heeney, Bill Vanblyderveen, Dennis Ashby, and Kevin Wight with three runs
scored each.
The spokesman
for Bon Lane said the guys played hard, but the Brantford players let them down
by their inability to show up and play. It is unclear whether or not they can
be blamed for only managing five runs today. Nonetheless, they are now looking
for more committed players this offseason to take over for the slackers. They
are targeting local talent, so please contact your local Bon Lanian for more
details (Jeff Bonney is a safe bet, and I’m sure he is in the phonebook…).
The other early
game, which the Cement Heads evaded by defeating Bre Haul, matched the latter
team with Muir’s. Reportedly, due to Rob Lowes’ antics from the previous night,
Muir’s had designed a sign that hung from the centerfield fence: “ROB LOWES 4
PRESIDENT!”
Lowes laughed
last though as Bre Haul took the game. They stay alive in the Remediation
round, whereas they eliminate Muir’s from Championship eligibility and send
them to the Consolation Round. Some consider the Consolation as third place… and
perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.
The last game of
the third round was the biggie of the tournament: the battle of the
so-far-undefeated-teams. The winner of this game– which would be the
Champion under a normal tournament setup– would get a bye into the Finals,
where they would face the winner of the Remediation Round. But the appeal of
winning this game means that in the finals, whoever wins would need to be
defeated twice consecutively to lose the championship, whereas winning just one
of these games will give them the title.
Ackland exploded
in the third inning, scoring seven runs. In the sixth, we found ourselves
knotted at ten aside. But in the seventh, Ackland matched their total of the
third inning, by scoring seven consecutively. This batch included Nathan
Ackland, who scored a gamehigh three runs (Jason Demunck also scored three
times). For the Cement Heads, leadoff hitter Paul Davidson reached base four of
four times, and he also scored three runs.
The two mammoth
innings for Ackland honed them to win the close contest, 18-15. The Cement
Heads dressed fourteen players for this game, and perhaps this was too many for
them to get into a groove hitting. They recorded three consecutive outs in
three innings.
The Cement Heads
aren’t eliminated from the championship, but they are forced to take the long
road to the final, if they can make it there. Enviro took this long path last
year, and used it to their advantage by jumping on a rusty Ackland’s team to
win last year’s championship. Ackland would like to have the opposite result of
last year for having this bye. Nonetheless, they take a bye to the final, where
they will only need to win one game to win the championship, whereas they will
need to lose two. Ackland’s hope to have learned from last year and can put
themselves in better shape to win the championship.
A sidenote to
this contest is that Gary Sparks of Ackland wins the Sportsmanship award for
the League. Congratulations to Gary.
This next game was
big… not just because it was a battle of the top two seeds of the tournament,
but because the loser of this game would be eliminated from the tournament! The
two teams had already lost once, so this was their second chance to get back
in. But only one team could advance out of Bre Haul and Enviro Tec.
Chad “Solo” Box
and Rob “Don’t Sob” Lowes scored in the first inning for Bre Haul, an inning
just like every other for Bre Haul in this game, one with atleast one run.
It was a huge
third inning for Bre Haul to break the game wide open. Randy Allgood
showed off his new trademark in the game. Bre Haul’s bench was situated on the
first-baseline, and after smashing the ball into the open field, Allgood would
flip his bat to the man on-deck while on his way to first base. Pepper, who
stood on deck, alertly caught the bat, and rolled his eyes at Allgood’s antics.
Pepper then hit
a ball to the wall and Allgood tried to score from first. The throw home was
errant, and consequently, Pepper also came home on his own hit. He was the last
of eight to score in the inning, giving them a handily lead, especially
considering Enviro failed to score until the fourth. But here they scored seven
runs!
To get Enviro
back into the game, Steve Heeney hit a ball over the fence of diamond B. This
put the score at 11-7 for Bre Haul, who were dipping into the run column every
inning.
Enviro backed their
big fourth with a five-run fifth, but Bre Haul was simply steady as she goes.
Every member of the team scored in the game, with Box, Lowes, and Pepper
scoring three runs each. Enviro made several errors which proved costly,
leading to several Bre Haul runs. To that point, Mike Schooley (last year’s
recipient of the Sprtsmanship award) of Enviro, said: “We were playing as
individuals, not as a team. It (a loss)
was bound to happen.” Bre Haul, despite losing to the Cement Heads earlier in
the tournament, need to win one more game to win the Relegation Round and enter
the Championship. The only thing standing in their way is the only team to have
beaten them in the tournament, the Cement Heads (their nemesis??).
Round 4…. FIGHT!
Muir’s played
Auto for a passage into the Consolation final. In the early stages of this
contest, Blair “Baby Rhino” Paterak made a sensational throw to nail an Auto
runner at the plate who was trying to sneak home and score on the throw to the
cutoff man. Muir’s kept the defense rolling, as Travis Armatage made a fabulous
diving catch in right-centerfield.
Blair “Baby Rhino” Paterak was doing damage with the twig
too, and had what some may refer to as the TSN Turning Point when he hit a double,
cashing in a few runners. Others might just call this an ordinary hit to the
field, but Rhinos love praise.
By winning this
game, Muir’s etched a spot in the Consolation final, a chance to pick up some
hardware.
For the rights to face Ackland’s in the final, Bre Haul
took on the Cement Heads in the Relegation Round final. These teams were out to
show that the bad blood boiling from the game last night would not affect them
negatively. The Cement Heads started out
by unleashing a defensive gem. Brad Boakes made a sliding catch while patrolling
leftfield.
Bre Haul were showing that they, affirming the validity
of next round’s subtitle, were out of gas. They dressed twelve men, but were
held off the scoreboard until the fifth. The Cement Heads had a six-run sixth
inning, including a Scott Kersey homer, to put them out of sight for what
appeared to be an overmatched Bre Haul team. It was pointed out by an unnamed
source that Bre Haul hoists the oldest team in the league with two everyday
players over fifty, a handful more over forty, and this extended tournament
route took a lot out of them… too much for them to be victorious.
The Cement Heads proved they were too much for Bre Haul (Jason
Sibbick laughs last I’m sure), and they advance to the championship.
Round 5… if you have anything left, FIGHT!
Muir’s took battle on RBT for the Consolation, a rematch
of this morning. However, unlike the Championship final, where the team losing in
the head-to-head match earlier in the day would have to defeat the winning team
twice, RBT only needed to defeat Muir’s once to claim the Consolation Championship.
Garret Claxton relieved himself… from the mound, in
favour of young stalwart Reid Morrison. Morrison did well, holding Muir’s to
half the amount of runs than this morning (not saying that Claxton was the
cause of 28 runs in the morning, but the runs were charged to him, hurting his
ERA).
RBT got right to it, posting six in the first inning, and
seven in the second. RBT went through the batting order two full times with ten
batter innings in both the first two innings for a combined 13 runs.
Muir’s were not overwhelmed though, and scored six in
their half of the first. But they were still behind the surging RBT squad by
plenty of runs. Travis Armatage couldn’t help but show his frustrations, and
his teammates were not impressed. But in the sixth, they put up five runs to
cut the lead.
After a Steve Knill homerun, the score was in question.
RBT had pounded Muir’s all day, and the score Muir’s had recorded was of a
greater deficit than RBT’s score showed. When Muir’s was alerted what RBT had
as a score, Steve Brown exclaimed: “Yeah… we’ll take that.”
However, it
didn’t matter whose score they used. RBT eclipsed their record of runs in this Consolation
Final game. Grant Pitts recorded four
homeruns in the game, scoring five times! Also enjoying five runs in the match
were Dallas Boakes and Knill. Knill didn’t need to do more than reach base with
Pitts hitting behind him. RBT put up 30 RUNS! Out of nowhere, RBT penetrates to
win the Consolation Final!
After the game, the pitcher of record, Mighty Morrison,
had this to say all while revelling in his win:
“Some say winning the Consolation is like kissing your sister, but I
consider it like a really hot step-sister.” This makes it a-okay (if Morrison
has a step-sister is not confirmed).
With one game in hand, Ackland’s took on the Cement Heads
for the rights to be named CHAMPIONS.
Steve Kersey proved the out-of-the-park-on-Diamond-B was
not a fluke by going deep again.
Jason Demunck was the first hitter of the game for
Ackland’s and he scored. On the other side of the ball, Nathan Ackland was out
to show excellency to his name by making a sliding catch in the field.
Of the first seventeen outs reported for the Cement
Heads, an astounding thirteen of these outs were made via flyout. The flyout
barrage led the Cement Heads failing to score until the sixth, their worse
drought of the season by far. They
needed to take the advice of Enviro’s section of fans and to “Go bowling!”
Ackland’s scored seven runs in the third inning, giving
them a comfortable lead on the suddenly impotent Cement Heads (who’s Heads
could suddenly not be Cem… yeah, I went there). Anyway, Ackland racked up 12
runs, which isn’t a real impressive mark, but after a long day, it was
sufficient to claim the Championship! ACKLAND’S INSURANCE WINS THE BURFORD
MEN’S LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP!
After the game, Ackland’s Jeff Richardson was reached for
comment: “Good thing, because we couldn’t have made it through another game,”
he admitted.
Ackland went back to their clubhouse and celebrated by
divulging into a voluptuous pig that awaited them on a spit, a delectable prize
for winning the Year Ender Bender ©
IMAGE CAPTION: Shone Evans of Ackland’s basks in the glory of the Champions Trophy.
Sept 16
Tournament satisfied most… leaves some teams comatose
“Please see next week’s edition of The Times for continuation of the Year Ended Bender © tournament” was reported in last week’s edition of The Times, and now it is here. The tournament to declare Burford Slo-Pitch supremacy is back. The second games matched winners from the previous Wednesday together, while losing teams also faced one another. The tournament is loosely a double-knockout format, but the double knockout eliminates the team from the Championship round, not necessarily the whole tournament.
Round 2… FIGHT!
The first game of the night, the marquee matchup, pitted Bre Haul against the Cement Heads. We would see if the Cement Heads were apt to knock Bre Haul off their high horse and coast to the upset. Brent Dawes, pitcher of the Heads disclosed that his team has no reason to fear Bre Haul largely because what they did to them the last time.
Stories from this game could easily make its own article, but we’ll see if we can touch all the vital bases and divulge into some of the other intriguing and newsworthy items.
Right away in this contest, we had controversy erupt. It was eventually dubbed the “Battle of big mouths” as mass chaos struck when catcher for Bre Haul, Robert J. Lowes, started smack-talking Cement Head hitter Jason Sibbick at the plate (right when the pitch was coming in actually). Not enjoying the antics, Sibbick gave it back to Lowes after the pitch. Promptly, without warning, the umpire tossed them both from the game! This means that whenever their spot in the batting order was reached, that they would automatically be declared an out. This seemed like softball’s version of the CFL, because in the CFL, there are only three downs whereas the NFL has four. The similarity is because in innings of baseball, the teams need to get three out, but in this game, some innings only require two outs to retire the side.
Perhaps why this stirred up controversy is because rumours circulated that this act was premeditated by Lowes. The rationale for doing this, reportedly, was to buy time for Bre Haul’s slugger, Chad “Solo” Box to arrive. So, thanks for your imminent arrival, Chad!
The Cement Head team scolded Sibbick for his ability to be enticed into an ejection by Lowes, but it was a one-for-one ejection, so really, the playing field was still level.
Dave Stapleton made valuable contributions at shortstop tonight, and Mike Hewitt matched his play with a high-quality scoop of the errant throw at first base. The Cement Heads were showing dedication in the field tonight, as the player between Stapleton and Hewitt, Paul Davidson, retreated back into right field to snag a ball in no man’s land.
Not to be outdone by his opposing shortstop, Chad “Solo” Box made several diving catches and used his cannon of an arm alongside his fielding skills to throw these hitters out at first base.
After a three-run fifth for Bre Haul, in their sixth, they put up five more to lead 9-5. In the midst of the Cement Heads answering inning, where they put up five to take back the lead, Rob Low took off from second base on a hit to the field. As he turned the base at third, the basecoach, Nick Wright, casually was telling him to go home. But suddenly, as if the ball had suddenly appeared in the infield, Wright yelled with maximum urgency: “STOP!” Low, startled, stopped, on a dime; so quickly that his feet went out from under him and he slid after the base. No one is sure what came across Wright, but Low scored anyway.
The Cement Heads led by one going into the ninth inning. An oddity took place to end this game: the Cement Heads needed three outs to win the game. However, since Lowes’s spot in the order was due up, they only needed two outs from the beginning of the inning. Two outs was not enough for Bre Haul to do anything with, and like a sheet in the wind, Bre Haul was upset. The Cement Heads win, 10-9.
Dwayne Scott, the umpire, was reached for comment about the ejections: “There’s ways to go about things, and that’s just not the way,” he said. “That made a mockery of the game.”
Luckily for Lowes, the Burford Men’s Slo-pitch League does not operate like the NBA, where two ejections result in a suspension. He will play in the Relegation round for Bre Haul, where they can still win the championship, but their route will be a longer one if they survive through it.
Meanwhile, in the Relegation round, teams were separating one another for a chance to stay alive and win the championship, where the losers are forced into the Consolation round. Auto took on Bon Lane while Muir’s took on RBT.
Auto got off to another slow start, finally getting on the board with two outs in the fourth. But then, three consecutive hitters– Will Charlton, Jason Spencer, and Luc Bertran– came in to cash. But by then, Bon Lane had already scored several, including Tren Armatage, Ben Clement, and Pat Azzaparti all twice. Bon Lane’s fourth saw six consecutive runs and they were laughing to a win, 21-12, despite two runs each, late, by Jordan Demeulenaere and Chase White Every player from Bon Lane– somehow– scored two times each, which is extremely rare.
In the other Relegation match, for the rights to face Bon Lane, RBT came out of the gate strong on Muir’s. They went ten batters deep– through their lineup– cashing six. Muir’s started out with runs too, scoring three. In the third, they scored eight. But in the fourth they achieved an accomplishment unlike any other. They sent ten batters to the plate, and SCORED EVERY ONE OF THEM! This feat is unimaginable, and demoralizing for the opponent. This was the third run each by Travis Armatage, Cory Paterak, Dan Moore, and Blair “Baby Rhino” Paterak.
RBT could have folded, but they stuck with it. If you knew they scored 25 runs in this game, you would guess they won easily. But on the contrary, Muir’s scored just enough after their mammoth inning to score 27 and oust RBT. John Keczan scored a gamehigh four runs,
In the other semi-final of the Championship round, the second-place Enviro Tec took on third-place Ackland Insurance.
Enviro managed to score in each of the first five innings. Unfortunately for them, that led to just six runs total. This put them in a precarious position.
By the end of the second, Ackland had eight runs. In the fourth, they loaded the bases with none out, but their next two hitters only managed measly groundouts, which Enviro proved to be headsup on by throwing home to prevent any damage. The third out would not be so fortunate for Enviro and caused some damage.
Finally, in the ninth, Enviro put up more than two runs in an inning. They scored six, giving them q total of 13. By then, it wasn’t near enough as Ackland’s had 19. Jeff Richardson scored four times, while Jason Demunck and someone identified as “Greg” scored three times each. Matching the latter total for Enviro, were Mike Heeney, and Chris Leroux. Oddly enough, Murray Heeney, who is typically a lock for runs, made the third out in four innings.
The umpire, Scott, after this contest made it clear: “Now those are two teams that played like men.” Even if he is correct, it wasn’t as fun to watch as the previous game.
However, these two games pronounce the stage as set: Ackland versus the Cement Heads for the automatic bye into the finals. On the other hand, this game was big because it means that either Enviro Tec or Bre Haul– the tournament’s top two seeds– would be eliminated from the Championship with a loss in the next match.
Please tune into The Times next week for culmination of the ear Ender Bender © tournament.
Sept 14- Men’s League Tournament Kicks Off
The Burford Men's League kicked off its Year Ender Bender tournament Wednesday Sept. 14 in the rain. They wanted to start it off with more of a bang than the NFL has recently done with its games’ kickoff. The NFL gets everyone all psyched and roaring to go, only to be letdown by a boring touchback. The slo-pitch league is going for more excitement than that.
Winning teams of round will move on to the Championship round, while losing teams are sent to the Relegation Round. If the latter, the teams still have a chance to be boosted to the Championship Round, however it will be a longer and tedious route to the potential glory.
Round one… FIGHT!
To start the night (hopefully with more excitement than a touchback), we had the first place Bre Haul Truckers taking on the Burford Auto Servicers.
Ryan Demeulenaere looked great tonight, with his hair buzzed right down to the wood (a little like a chemo patient) coupled with an old school retro uniform. This was a strange combination, but he scored on his first plate appearance. Auto hoped this would be a good luck charm.
Kevin Seitz of Bre Haul was pitching the ball extremely high as noted by fellow teammate Johnsonville Bloomfield. Sue Seitz scoffed at this notion: "That means he'll want his shoulders rubbed tonight." Bloomfield did not offer his services, but he didn't decline either...
Bre Haul began the game on a torrent pace as if to show that they are the top-ranked team and others better watch out. They tallied six runs in the first.
After the first, Auto held Bre Haul off the scoreboard until the sixth inning. Auto fan Kathy Vanderheyden explained the Auto team's struggles over this season: "They always are doin so good, and then one inning happens and they s#!t the bed." Not subsequently, this is exactly what happened tonight. The wheels fell off the bed completely, and Bre Haul scored 15 consecutive runs. After a seven-run fifth and an eight-run sixth, they won by a score of 21-4. Chad Box and Josh Seitz scored three times tonight, and Rob Lowes failed to score… perhaps he was shaken by the “picture-on-a-bat” incident just weeks prior.
The number two squad, Enviro Tec, were not given the preferred field for unspecified reasons, although they probably should’ve played here after Bre Haul. They had to settle for Diamond A, against RBT.
As if they were mad for such treatment, Enviro started the game on absolute fire– as did Bre Haul– scoring seven runs, burying RBT from the get-go.
RBT started the game off scoring their first batter, Alex Manning. But no more scored until the fourth, where the team’s veteran players tried to show the kids how it’s done. Dave Bean, Davide Manning, and Floyd Davis counted as RBT tried to make a surge. John Keczan Sr. reported that Dave Bean had been hitting the ball well all night. Their example was followed in the fifth, when the young bucks chalked up five runs for RBT to give them nine. RBT strived to keep it close all night long so they would be in position to squeak one out at the end of the game.
Enviro scored seven that inning and put a damper on RBT’s chances to do this. Four of the men who scored in the first– Mike Schooley, Murray Heeney, Trevor Fronchak, and Steve Nizielski– also came across to count agai in that fifth inning.
In this last inning that RBT banked on, it appeared the game just may be in position for the taking. John Keczan Jr. hit what appeared to be a big three-run homer out of the park, but it was revealed that RBT was over their homerun quota... so this hit was just an out. RBT falls short, 16-10.
On B Diamond, Ackland's Insurance took on the former New Kids On the Block, now Muir's Diner.
Muir’s began the game as a clinic scoring four runs in the first inning. Ackland decided they could compete with this start and Steve Kersey went up to the dish and he belted out an over-the-fence shot on Diamond B. This cannon of a shot was felt down Alexander St. by a group of patrons watching the game. One of whom yelled: "Ground-rule double!", insisting the ball bounced before leaving the fence. Upon hearing this, one may think twice, but it turned out to be disgruntled Bre Haul player Rob Lowes doing the commentary. So everyone promptly ignored it.
Ackland has an overzealous player, and his name is Gary Sparks. On the bases, he ran through several "stop" signs advised by his third basecoach(es). He was lucky the Muir's throws were errant and he wasn’t burned. If he was, he would have some explaining to do.
Injured tonight was Mark Richardson, and this occurred early in the contest. Richardson took a line drive via Blair "Baby Rhino" Paterak to the left knee and was forced to leave the game. Supposedly NSA rules stipulate that whenever a player leaves a game and does not have a replacement, that when his spot in the order is reached, he is automatically deemed an out. This concept did not stir Tom Bell, manager of Muir's, as he saw the rule as bogus and allowed Ackland's to simply skip his bat in the order. By the time this is published, the award will be handed out, but surely Tom Bell must get much consideration for the award for this play as well as others. There is no timetable set for Richardson and he has been listed as day-to-day in the meantime.
This move was sportsmanlike, but Muir's probably could’ve used the technicality. Ackland wins, 23-12. Dan Moore scored three times for Muir’s in the defeat.
Last game of round one was the game where upset loomed. All the betting men were taking Bon Lane as their sleeper team in this year's tournament. But the Cement Heads are a powerful team, and they would have something to say to such men. The Cement Heads have the potential to go all the way.
Jim Beam Bonney hit a homer for Bon Lane, but this was matched by Andy Vandewalle.
The corssroads of the game occurred when Bon Lane looked to be ready to blow the game wide open. They had the bases juiced with no one out. Brent Dawes, pitcher for the Cement Heads, managed to limit the damage to just one run via some poor clutch hitting from Bon Lane.
In a similar situation in perhaps the following inning, Jason Sibbick strutted to the plate with the bases loaded. He made the runs count, which Bon Lane struggled to do tonight, by cashing all the runs including himself on a grand slam. Clutch. If anything took the steam out of Bon Lane's oven, this had to be it.
Adam “C-Rod” Clement had a nice RBI double to pull Bon Lane within striking distance. But just then, Ryan Vansickle made a tremendous catch in the outfield, diving to just get his glove under it. Vansickle thinks he caught it, but Bon Lane was sure they heard it hit the ground. A source close to Vansickle later said he caught it and then his glove hit the ground, thus it was the leather hitting the ground.
The consensus upset pick is dashed from the Championship round and placed into the Relegation round as the Cement Heads prevail, 19-8. They will face Bre Haul in a match of titans (and not Tennessee Titans). After an impressive undressing of 5-seed Bon Lane, the Cement Heads are not afraid of what lies ahead: "We're not afraid (of the number one ranked Bre Haul)," said Dawes. "Remember what we did to them last time?"
Oh yeah... on July 21st, they lit them up like a New York Christmas tree in a blackout, scoring 26 runs, hitting an incredible 12 balls over the fence of Diamond A. Perhaps Bre Haul will take kindly to their Diamond B field they have earned by finishing first overall, and this aforementioned game was an isolated incident...
The higher favoured seeds did exactly what was expected of them tonight... that being, defeat the lower seeds. There were no surprises tonight, as winning teams etched their way into the championship round. The losing teams will also face one another next. The loser of the latter two games will be placed in the Consolation round, eliminated from winning the Burford Men's Slo-Pitch crown...
Please see next week’s edition of The Times for continuation of the Year Ended Bender © tournament.
Sept 8
The men took the field on Sept. 7 on an unusually chilly night where Mother Nature simply turned off the summer—global warming, who?— and decided to instil late fall. These games were to etch out the final standings of the Slo-Pitch league and determine how the playoff table is setup. Some teams didn’t have to play at all, while other(s) had to play twice.
Since no one wants to be bored with one team dominating the whole article, we’ll spread it out. Enviro Tec kicked off the first of an evening/night doubleheader versus the Bushwacked Bon Lanians.
Bon Lane may spell Bushwhackers without the second H, but tonight they were gunning for a .500 winning percentage, a drastic turnaround from last year. This reportedly would be their first winning season ever.
Both teams may have wolfed down their dinner too quickly in order to be on time, and they both struggled out of the gate. Despite being top two in runs scored this season, Enviro didn’t put up a run until the fourth. It was the third when Jim “Beam” Bonney scored for Bon Lane.
Enviro Tec had a fifth inning in attempt to forgive their first few innings. They scored five runs beginning with Mike “n Ike” Schooley, and eventually they evened the score.
Bon Lane led by a score of 10-8 going into the bottom of the ninth, with Enviro up to bat. They managed to tie the game but then had nothing remaining on the bases. Steve Heeney stepped up to the plate. If he went quietly, the game would be forced into extra innings, prolonging Enviro’s night, which already looked to be long considering Burford Auto loomed, ready to play them after this game concluded. However, in the harmless situation, Heeney caused harm by hitting a walk-off homerun to win the game! It wasn’t a traditional walk-off homer where the player’s team awaits him at the plate and then mobs him, because it was an in-the-park homerun on Diamond B. Nevertheless, he destroys Bon Lane’s aspirations for a .500 campaign. Bon Lane “walked off” the field in notable frustration, throwing gloves in fits of agony. Enviro Tec wins 11-10.
Meanwhile, RBT battled the Cement Heads. If RBT loses, they run the risk of being demoted to the eighth-seed from the seven-spot. The Cement Heads can tie Ackland for second place in the standings with a win.
For RBT, journeyman Davide Manning was forced to sit out the game with a torn rotator cuff. His status for the tournament is unknown. However, reports are indecisive if RBT will miss him if he’s out.
To begin the game, Paul Davidson and Davidson Stapleton of the Heads scored their first of two runs.
In the third, RBT drew even with runs from Dallas Boakes on a Grant Pitts homerun. However, this was RBT’s only score until the sixth inning. The Cement Heads, though, scored in all innings but two, including a Andy Vandewalle homer.
After a Floyd Davis hit that nearly decapitated him at first base, RBT’s Reid Morrison showed resiliency and adequate to above-average baseball sense by going first to third on this same hit. His venture to third-base induced a throw from the rightfielder which allowed Davis to get into scoring position himself.
After both had scored, Davis, the league’s most experienced player, reported that he can still get the job done. With a smile on his face, he added: “Just recovery takes longer.”
Pitts was also trying his heroics in the outfield as he acrobatically leapt for the ball. This looked good, but not that good considering he missed the ball. However, that’s when his buddy-boy, Boakes, decided to pick him up by turning a brilliant double-play at third by stepping on the bag, then throwing home.
Somehow, although being a top-performer and typically having more runs than chilli, Nick Wright did not score tonight. Nevertheless, the Cement Heads acquired enough runs from other sources to have enough to win tonight, 12-9. After an impressive four-run eighth, RBT could not make enough moves in the ninth.
Despite the victory, the Cement Heads do not win the tiebreaker against Ackland despite ousting their runs for and against totals. The determining factor is results head-to-head, which Ackland bettered the Cement Heads.
With the above loss, Auto had a chance to pass RBT in the standings. But they would have to do it against last year’s champs, Enviro Tec. Enviro had just played, so Auto’s hoped they were already burnt out.
Team Burford Auto had a choice: they could throw this game and face Bre Haul first-round in the tournament, or they could win and face Enviro. Jordan “Smalls” Demeluenaere expressed his feelings at the beginning of the match: “If we beat them now, I wanna play Enviro. If we lose, I wanna play Bre Haul.” Well Jordan, this is exactly how it would work.
On the contrary to Auto’s hope for a burnt out team, the first game of two for Enviro simply served as a warmup, and they were already warm to say the least. They scored three runs in their half of the first.
Burford Auto looked incredibly in-sync also as they methodically singled their way to six hits that evened up the score.
During this single-affair, the ball was deflected near the fence behind third base. Murray Heeney made a great decision to slide to the ball and stop it instead of grabbing it on the run, because if he attempted the latter, the ball would have rolled out of play and the Auto runners would have been allowed to advance up another base. Heeney put a cap in this inning.
Great fielding was also committed on the other side of the inning, as Willard Charlton made a couple of difficult plays in left field, a position he is not accustomed to.
The game was decidedly over by the time Auto player, Jeremy Vanderheyden, who was not in uniform tonight, decided he would go drink beers with the Bre Haul squad instead of watching his own team battle. That sound is not a shot at the character of Vanderheyden as much as it was a fat lady singing. Auto didn’t throw the game, but they lost it nonetheless, 25-8 (or maybe they did throw it?). Batters 5-8 failed to score for Auto, and every player scored for Enviro, with Mike Heeney leading the batch with four runs. Five players scored three runs.
Call the grandchildren, because the stage is set! Potentially, what could be tonight (the 14th), the battle of slo-pitch supremacy is on. Bre Haul earned Auto, Enviro has RBT, Ackland battles Muir’s, while the Cement Heads duel Bon Lane. But if you are not reading this until Thursday, do not worry. Although beginning on the Wednesday, the Year Ender Bender © shall take place on Friday night as well, and will be an all-day affair on Saturday, which is scheduled to end with the championship game at 3:15PM, pending everything goes according to plan… which, it rarely does. But come see some great baseball action! There will be a barbecue, if patrons get thirsty there will be a licensed pavilion for beverages, and perhaps— if Mother Nature remembers it’s actually September and not November—the Splash Pad may also be in its final efforts of the season.
Aug 31
Week of the comeback
Don’t let the headline spoil the fun… because comebacks didn’t occur in every game tonight. On the final day of August, every game in the Men’s League was contested on a night that held perfect weather for baseball. This week every team in the league scored in the double-digits (but one, and that team was just one off that mark… so round up!)
To start off the week, we had a game of David and Goliath: Auto versus Bre Haul. In David’s favour, Auto has played the role of Cinderella before and succeeded– in the previous few weeks, they defeated the number two seed, Ackland. The slipper is a little bigger tonight though, as they faced the number one seed.
Rob Lowes was again at the centre of the stage. It was no secret that it was work of Frances Floyd who printed a picture of Lowes with his face transformed and taped it to his bat. Lowes played along with the act, but took it to the extreme– which isn’t atypical of him– and took this bat up to the plate with him for his at bat. The umpire saw this and called him out on the technicality of altering a piece of equipment. Altering equipment has been rumoured to be the reason behind Lowes hitting homerun bombs out of Diamond B.
An anonymous source supported the umpire’s decision: “He (Lowes) thinks he can get away with whatever he wants to.”
Lowes pouted off the field in frustration. “It’s complete bulls#!t” he commented. However, the umpire perhaps cut him a deal because he could’ve ejected him from the game rather than just calling him out. “Anything they (the league) can do to keep my on-base percentage down because they know I’m inching closer to the record,” Lowes concluded.
Floyd, though, is the team representative of the Burford Auto team… so this screams of scandal. Speculation arose to whether there is collusion between the umpire and the Auto team, or perhaps with the league against Lowes himself, and by extension, the Goliath Bre Haul team.
For Bre Haul, this was a costly out as they were losing, had runners aboard, and had two outs. This ended the inning and their threat.
Braden Wylie of Auto has been showing some great skills at shortstop, particularly with his leaping ability. Tonight he climbed the ladder on a few occasions to rob Bre Haul of line drive hits. He is almost in position to steal the nickname away from “Air” Dallas Boakes.
In the seventh, trying to stoke a rally, Johnsonville Bloomfield attempted to turn back to second after realizing the throw from the field would beat him to third base. He pulled up lame after the pivot as he appeared to roll his ankle on the play. He limped off the field, and sat on a bench while a concerned patron looked for ice. He decided to forfeit play in the field. This is a smart decision considering the Year Ender Bender © will take place later this month.
Auto led 8-0 at this point and the slipper seemed to fit well. However, the troops rallied after Bloomfield’s injury to pick him up. Pete Bellamy hit a homerun to give Bre Haul signs of life in the seventh.
Auto cooled off dramatically from their torrent pace set in the first two innings. In the bottom of the eighth with two outs, Bre Haul found themselves down four. But while sitting when his team was in the field, Bloomfield devised a plan. He did not want to run, but still wanted to hit. The solution was a shot over the fence for a homerun (ala Kirk Gibson, but Bloomfield did not round the bases).
Just as Auto looked to pick up their second consecutive shocker, Bre Haul storms back for the win, 11-9. Cinderella’s slipper was just too big to fit tonight.
Batters seven through ten for Auto failed to score tonight and three runs in the final six innings also proved detrimental to the result. Bre Haul escapes with only scoring in one of the first six innings.
* The umpire and Lowes made up after the game by sharing a big bear hug while giggling.
Subsequently, the Cement Heads took on Bon Lane. The Bushwackers have showed that they are not messing around lately and are contenders in the league. But the Cement Heads are a top-tier team who don’t put out poor performances often.
The first batter of the game, Thom Staples, started the game out right for Bon Lane as he scored. But then Bon Lane couldn’t score until the fourth inning (one batter, one run; the 14 batters after, zero runs).
The Cement Heads were on a similar path, with one run scored in the first and not again until the next time through the order. In the fourth and fifth innings though, they double-dipped for nine runs combined. Pauly D Davidson and Nick “Bird” Wright scored in both.
The game was close all night, and Bon Lane answered with three runs in both the fourth and fifth innings, with Pat Azzaparti scoring in both.
In the top of the ninth with the score knotted at nine, John Alonzo– in his alternate uniform– hit a three-run homerun out of the park of Diamond B. Bon Lane leads the league with four homers out of Diamond B. Although it may not be seen in the boxscore, this was a homerun was hit with an assist credited to Azzaparti (whose bat was used).
The Cement Heads answered with Andy Vandewalle sending a mammoth hit to the fence which scored multiple runners. In this game, it was the Cement Heads storming back. With the winning run aboard, it was the eighth batter of the inning, Nick Wright, who hit the game-winning single. The Cement Heads edge Bon Lane, 14-13.
It appears that Bon Lane was too frustrated at the final inning or they were too nervous because they did not finish recording the final inning of their gamesheet. Are they rattled prior to the commencement of the tournament?
Floyd Davis was an emergency call-up to ensure RBT had enough players to play in their tilt versus Muir’s.
Davidson Bean was the first run to score in the game, the first of three in the second inning for RBT. Much like the Cement Heads, Muir’s started the game the second time through the order.
With the score 7-4 for the Heads, RBT had a massive seventh inning where they scored six runs to go up by three.
Muir’s did not follow this up well. Their first two batters up in the following inning hit what amounted to bunts back to RBT pitcher Garret “Air-it” Claxton. The next batter looked to make it a very quiet inning for Muir’s. A pop-up to second base seemed to confirm that Muir’s is a fragile team whose psyche is penetrable, as one big inning from their opponents can ice their chance at winning, However, oddly enough, RBT had a miscommunication between two veteran players and the ball fell in.
In the final inning, Muir’s found themselves down three. It started with Blair “Baby Rhino” Paterak reaching first via a single (Paterak inexplicably requested his nickname be changed from ‘rhino’ to ‘unicorn’. The last article of The Times flirted with the idea of Paterak being a switch-hitter, so possibly this was his ‘switch-hitting side’ coming out). Steve Brown followed up Paterak with a triple, shrinking the deficit to two. Johnny “Hunter” Hunt then decided to hit a homerun, cashing the winning run. Muir’s completes the comeback, 14-12, despite a league-high in runs tonight from Jamie Davis.
Last game of the week was another close one as Ackland battled Enviro Tec for the rights to second-place.
Ackland came to play early, as Jason Demunck and Jeff Richardson scored in both the first two innings. Ackland led early, by a sizable margin. At the end of the fourth, it was 9-1.
But later on, Enviro seemed to realize the importance of the game. They sent ten batters to the plate in both the seventh and eighth innings. The seventh and eighth hitters for Enviro fared much better leading off than the top of the order did tonight. The eighth inning saw eight runs from Enviro-Tec, capped by a Murray Heeney homer.
In the ninth inning, Ackland entered the bats down four. Steve Kersey started and scored, and the Insurers would bat around the order. When the tying runner came to the plate, his spite shot was smashed on the ground seemingly up the middle. Chris Leroux dove and caught the ball spectacularly. From the ground, he calmly flipped it to second to end the game… for your highlight of the night.
Ackland’s too, could not complete the gamesheet as their lead was ousted. However, with this 18-14 win, Enviro clinched second place over Ackland’s. Rob Oliver scored three times for Enviro.
I lie! Every game tonight ended with a sizable comeback …
Aug 24-
Rain is pain for Men’s League
Not like the rain actually hurts the Men’s Slo-Pitch
League physically, but it is a pain in the rear if games are postponed, because
if they are, it is very likely that they will be required to play a bunch of
makeup games prior to the Year-Ender Bender ©
As the rain loomed on Wed. August 24th, the question was
whether the league had the audacity– and the luck– to get in a slate of games.
The first games began without a hitch. The first-place Bre Haul Truckers took
on the second-place Ackland Insurers, while the fourth-place Bon Lane Bushwackers
took on fifth-place Muir’s.
Bre Haul has called Randall Allgood back up the big club after
he was sent down to AA Myrtle Beach.
In another sidenote from the Bre Haul camp, earlier in
the day, Rob Lowes was on the Reserve doing questionable things when he
channelled his inner Betty White to buy himself a Snickers chocolate bar.
Reportedly, his very last bite proved detrimental as a bee flew in the path of
the bar and his mouth. One source explained, logically, that this can happen
when you never shut your mouth. The
result was a sting to the upper lip, including mass swelling. This led to a
good look, and several jabs at Lowes.
However, he had a game of no shame. He started out with a
homer out of Diamond B, his second of that variety (Shaun Turgeon leads the
league with three). This scored Johnsonville Bloomfield, giving Bre Haul an
early lead.
It took Ackland until the third inning to taste a run,
and then not again until the sixth, so it didn’t look good for them. Especially
not after the Truckers second inning, which included ten batters and seven
runs, which included a Rob “Beekeeper” Lowes ground-rule double… giving him two
hits over the fence in the astronomically-sized diamond. This gave Bre Haul 12
to Ackland’s two, a thromping.
But then Ackland remembered they are the second-place
team, so they sent ten men to the plate, scoring six. In the seventh, they sent
eight batters to the dish.
Bre Haul sprinkled three runs in their half of the sixth
and seventh innings, including runs from Greg Harrison, Kevin Seitz, and Derek
Vandenburg, giving them 18.
Despite both scoring the previous two innings, Ackland’s Steve
Kersey and Mark Richardson could not do more than be the second and third outs
of the eighth inning. However, in the ninth, Ackland’s first two batters– Pauly Gurney and Darren
Kellam– scored, bringing the lead to just four with three outs remaining. The
bases appeared to be juiced for Shone Evans, who has been a quality hitter for
Ackland’s all year long, but the pressure cooker cooked right into him, and he
succumbed to a groundout to end the game. Bre Haul takes’r, 18-14.
Rob “Hotlips” Lowes will not be placed on the disabled
list, though his vulnerability to taking verbal jabs is at its peak (so get
your shots in now?). We shall see if his feelings aren’t too hurt to play next
week.
Just a short walk from this game, Muir’s and Bon Lane had
a better view at the impending lightning from Diamond A. This turned out to be
the game of the week, although it was going on subsequent to the game of the
top two squads.
Bon Lane started the game out right, showing they are the
rightful heir to fourth place. They scored their first six batters,
capitalizing on Muir’s only having nine fielders. Teams should probably opt to
go one man down on the infield rather than the outfield, as piling on runs
seems to be a theme when there are only three outfielders.
Muir’s player Corey Paterak arrived shortly after.
Unfortunately for Muir’s, they had already batted around the order, so it
looked like they were SOL. However, just then, Shaun “Shins” Turgeon arrived
for Bon Lane. Bon Lane’s manager went out between innings to ask the umpire and
Muir’s manager if they could both be added to the gamesheet. This was an
ill-advised decision for Bon Lane (a Bushwacked decision, if you will) because while
they may get the mighty bat of Turgeon, they would give Muir’s their fourth outfielder
they so desperately needed. Advantage:
Muir’s.
This contest was tied at nine through three innings, and
went back and forth all game long. After Muir’s half of the seventh, they found
themselves with a 14-13 lead. After an impressive eighth that scored six, they
led by four. Unfortunately for them, Bon Lane’s eighth was also a smash-hit,
and they took back the lead by one entering the ninth.
Muir’s had the tying run aboard with three outs to play,
with Stephen M. Brown due up in the inning (Brown was activated by Muir’s just
before the game from the 15-day disabled list, but he started 5/5 with three
doubles while resuming duties on the mound).
Despite having the table set for them, Muir’s could not bring home the
bacon, and they fall 21-20. Tren Armatage hit two homers for Bon Lane in the
victory, and the addition of Turgeon to the lineup in exchange for a tenth
player for Muir’s luckily proved not to be a fatal shot to the foot of
Bushwacker team.
RBT was all set to battle the Cement Heads while Auto was
ready-ish for Enviro Tec. The looming storm appeared to be closing, and it was overheard
by one RBT player that “It must be electric out here because my nipples are
hard.” Who this player is can likely be assumed by anyone who knows the team’s
roster… but no, it wasn’t Vern Tipping.
The electricity– or threat of it– ended up being too much
for the umpiring crew (and perhaps their nipples as well). Although it was not
raining at the time, everyone could see, feel, hear, and even smell it coming,
so the teams decided to bow out before everybody got wet. This latter game is set
to be rescheduled for Sept. 7. Enviro is just one point behind Ackland’s for
second-place. Unless Auto’s lightning can strike twice and give them another
upset, it looks like Ackland’s decision to go double-or-nothing versus Auto
will cost them second place (while that win for Auto puts them in a tie for
seventh).
As for the other game, it is to be determined whether playing
the game is necessary. If not, perhaps this will go down as the game that never
happened.
The Year Ender Bender is looming upon us, as was the rain
tonight.
Here are the standings, though incomplete, as of right
now:
Team
|
GP
|
Wins
|
Loses
|
Ties
|
RF
|
RA
|
Points
|
GB
|
19
|
15
|
3
|
1
|
302
|
198
|
31
|
0
|
|
19
|
13
|
5
|
1
|
319
|
269
|
27
|
2
|
|
18
|
13
|
5
|
0
|
355
|
253
|
26
|
2.5
|
|
19
|
11
|
7
|
1
|
369
|
281
|
23
|
4
|
|
18
|
8
|
9
|
1
|
257
|
277
|
17
|
7
|
|
19
|
7
|
12
|
0
|
263
|
311
|
14
|
8.5
|
|
19
|
3
|
16
|
0
|
224
|
336
|
6
|
11.5
|
|
19
|
3
|
16
|
0
|
225
|
387
|
6
|
11.5
|
Aug 17-
It was a week of commons in the Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch league on Wed. August 17th, where teams could really see how they stack up versus like competition. Two teams in the top tier of standings, Bre Haul and Enviro Tec, squared off; the other two of this top tier drew battle, the Cement Heads and Ackland’s; as did Burford Auto with Muir’s, with Muir’s are on the cusp of this top tier; and finally, Bon Lane tried to inch closer to the .500 winning percentage versus RBT.
Since most things are listed first to last, we’ll start with our marquee matchup, Bre Haul versus Enviro Tec. Before the game, Bre Haul’s Roberto Lowes was talking smack, as per usual. However, this variety of talk is unordinary. “I predict a Bre Haul lose tonight!” he said, despite the winning grammar. Many people who know of Pete Rose say he should not be held out of the baseball Hall of Fame, if he only (allegedly) bet on his own team. If Lowes was setting down wagers against his team, he would be disciplined: unquestionably, he would lose Hall of Fame eligibility, plus. One may wish to argue if he would get to the Hall anyway, but a league ban wouldn’t be out of the question.
For Bre Haul, the name of the game today was preventing Enviro from scoring, which goes along with their league best 198 runs allowed (the closest team to them has allowed 55 more). Bre Haul tied Enviro up completely with a shutout until the fourth, and allowed just one run into the sixth.
Enviro fans kept screaming, rather idiotically, “Go bowling!” to their hitters, perhaps encouraging them not to hit a popfly. These fans preaching this should really consider how this sounds at a baseball game, and wonder if a groundout is much better than a popout, because I don’t think there is.
Josh Seitz hit a base-clearing triple in the sixth, scoring three. Prior to this at-bat, he scored twice. This took Bre Haul to eight runs, while Enviro struggled at bat (despite a Trevor Fronchak homer).
In the latter parts of the game, Enviro had a chance at a double-play, but they’d have to move fast. The second baseman, perhaps Chris Leroux, tossed the ball to Murray Heeney who was covering second base. It was not a throw intended to be barehanded, but Heeney knew it would be a tight play at one if he used his glove. He decided not to, and it was an ill-advised decision as the ball deflected off his hand. Instead of getting two outs, Enviro got none, and were left scrambling to close the inning.
Entering the ninth, Bre Haul found their lead at four. An Enviro Tec comeback was still within reach, but then Bre Haul opened a can of Whoopass. They hit three homeruns, courtesy of Chad “Solo” Box (his second), Cory Austin, and Greg (whose last name is not Hellifino, but Harrison). Bre Haul scored six in the inning, while Enviro only scored one, leaving us with a bit of a romp. Bre Haul wins, 14-5, leaving the door open to Ackland’s to seize grips on second place. It appears Rob Lowes had five at bats, and reached every time…
The other early game, Steve Kersey and Ackland’s tried to put an end to Scott Kersey and the Cement Head winning streak. This blood rivalry took place on a day every top-tier team played in an early game.
Asked for an update midway through the contest, Steve Kersey reported that it had been a great effort by both teams defensively– just as the Cement Heads’ Mike Hewitt made a sparkling play, diving, from the middle infield– but not so much at the bats. He was correct, as Ackland’s went scoreless through five innings (Brent Dawes has been a stopper as of late, recording shutout innings in the past 12 innings upto this point).
Steve also added that his brother was wearing squeaky clean white pants, which he hadn’t managed to get dirty. The next at-bat though, Scott, unknowing of such chirping, stretched a single into a double by sliding in safely.
Ackland found the ON switch later in the game, as Darren Kellam and Paul Gurney went back-to-back with towering shots to the outfield. They waited till the sixth to score, but here they did six times.
From here on out, Ackland scored in every inning. Not a lot, but possibly it would be enough as the Cement Heads were not a strong show at the plate.
Entering the ninth, the Cement Heads found themselves down just one run. However, they went three-up, three-down in the ninth (can anyone say choke?). This was there third three-up, three-down inning for them.
The final score was Ackland Insurance 11, Cement Heads 8. The Cement Heads streak of six consecutive wins is brought to an abrupt end by Ackland’s after an uncharacteristically dismal performance at the bats. Amazingly, the Heads lead the league with 369 runs scored, 67 more than first place Bre Haul, but they find themselves alone in fourth place. For a chance at third, they could’ve used this one.
For Ackland, it wasn’t all good news. They went without pitcher Mike Oprey in this contest. Oprey had his leg heavily bandaged from an ugly roofing accident where a lot of something fell on his leg (it appears that it could’ve been the whole roof), ripping tendons and breaking bones in its path. It looks unquestionable that he will be out for the season, but then that was also said about Auto’s Jeremy Vanderheyden, who played a week after that was reported.
Speaking of the eccentric Auto player, Auto took on Muir’s.
Muir’s Steve Aichmayr, who is never shy from a comment, exposed that he is considering a switch from his number 99 to 55, due to the use of the latter number by comedic personality Kenny Powers .
Switch-hitter (pun?), Blair Paterak hit a monster shot to left-centerfield at the offset of the game. Like an angry 240 pound baby rhinoceros, he took off on the basepads. As he hit third, the ball was still being shagged by Auto, and he turned home. The Auto relay was good, and the baby rhino was out by mere inches.
After this play, Paterak was so gassed that he sat the following inning and his breathing did not ease until the inning had fully completed and Auto made three outs. He claimed to need a Snickers chocolate bar, and later admitted that when trying to circle the bases as fast as he could, he envisioned a Snickers bar just infront of him, propelling him to run faster.
The most impressive stat of the game was that Aichmayr as well as Dani Moore were 5/5 with five runs… by the sixth inning! Moore scored six times tonight (every appearance at the plate). This tied a mark set by Catherwood’s Welding (which is now RBT) player, Mark Ferguson, in 1998.
Auto had nine players who scored tonight, but unfortunately for them, all but one of these nine scored only once (Chris Boakes scored twice). One was Chris Drong, who hit a homerun. Also unfortunate for Auto, Muir’s scored 29 times. During a stretch from the fourth to sixth innings, Travis Armatage, Aichmayr, Moore, Paterak respectively, scored an incredible twelve times in just three innings!
In the final game of the week, RBT took on Bon Lane. Bon Lane is creeping up the standings, sitting happily a few points ahead of Muir’s but awhile behind the Cement Heads. The story of this game was John Alonzo, who scored four times in just four plate appearances (including a homerun).
Bon Lane put in a sustained effort tonight, scoring runs in every inning but two, and multiple runs in all those innings but one.
Floyd Davis returned to RBT, only to hit a homerun (as Alisha Dawes looked on, admirably… and Cassy Dawson just looked, well, confused).His presence, toppled with John Keczan’s 5/5 on-base, scoring a team-high three runs, just was not enough for RBT to emerge victorious. BonLane wins, 14-10. For RBT, perhaps missing Garret Claxton hurts more than anyone thought?
On Wednesday, Muir’s gets to tango with Bon Lane with the fourth seed within reach. And Bre Haul gets to take on Ackland, another formidable opponent… perhaps preparing them perfectly for the tournament. They passed their test of Enviro Tec this week, who were maybe too focused on bowling.
Aug 9- Rain is pain for Men’s League
Not like the rain actually hurts the Men’s Slo-Pitch League physically, but it is a pain in the rear if games are postponed, because if they are, it is very likely that they will be required to play a bunch of makeup games prior to the Year-Ender Bender ©
As the rain loomed on Wed. August 24th, the question was whether the league had the audacity– and the luck– to get in a slate of games. The first games began without a hitch. The first-place Bre Haul Truckers took on the second-place Ackland Insurers, while the fourth-place Bon Lane Bushwackers took on fifth-place Muir’s.
Bre Haul has called Randall Allgood back up the big club after he was sent down to AA Myrtle Beach.
In another sidenote from the Bre Haul camp, earlier in the day, Rob Lowes was on the Reserve doing questionable things when he channelled his inner Betty White to buy himself a Snickers chocolate bar. Reportedly, his very last bite proved detrimental as a bee flew in the path of the bar and his mouth. One source explained, logically, that this can happen when you never shut your mouth. The result was a sting to the upper lip, including mass swelling. This led to a good look, and several jabs at Lowes.
However, he had a game of no shame. He started out with a homer out of Diamond B, his second of that variety (Shaun Turgeon leads the league with three). This scored Johnsonville Bloomfield, giving Bre Haul an early lead.
It took Ackland until the third inning to taste a run, and then not again until the sixth, so it didn’t look good for them. Especially not after the Truckers second inning, which included ten batters and seven runs, which included a Rob “Beekeeper” Lowes ground-rule double… giving him two hits over the fence in the astronomically-sized diamond. This gave Bre Haul 12 to Ackland’s two, a thromping.
But then Ackland remembered they are the second-place team, so they sent ten men to the plate, scoring six. In the seventh, they sent eight batters to the dish.
Bre Haul sprinkled three runs in their half of the sixth and seventh innings, including runs from Greg Harrison, Kevin Seitz, and Derek Vandenburg, giving them 18.
Despite both scoring the previous two innings, Ackland’s Steve Kersey and Mark Richardson could not do more than be the second and third outs of the eighth inning. However, in the ninth, Ackland’s first two batters– Pauly Gurney and Darren Kellam– scored, bringing the lead to just four with three outs remaining. The bases appeared to be juiced for Shone Evans, who has been a quality hitter for Ackland’s all year long, but the pressure cooker cooked right into him, and he succumbed to a groundout to end the game. Bre Haul takes’r, 18-14.
Rob “Hotlips” Lowes will not be placed on the disabled list, though his vulnerability to taking verbal jabs is at its peak (so get your shots in now?). We shall see if his feelings aren’t too hurt to play next week.
Just a short walk from this game, Muir’s and Bon Lane had a better view at the impending lightning from Diamond A. This turned out to be the game of the week, although it was going on subsequent to the game of the top two squads.
Bon Lane started the game out right, showing they are the rightful heir to fourth place. They scored their first six batters, capitalizing on Muir’s only having nine fielders. Teams should probably opt to go one man down on the infield rather than the outfield, as piling on runs seems to be a theme when there are only three outfielders.
Muir’s player Corey Paterak arrived shortly after. Unfortunately for Muir’s, they had already batted around the order, so it looked like they were SOL. However, just then, Shaun “Shins” Turgeon arrived for Bon Lane. Bon Lane’s manager went out between innings to ask the umpire and Muir’s manager if they could both be added to the gamesheet. This was an ill-advised decision for Bon Lane (a Bushwacked decision, if you will) because while they may get the mighty bat of Turgeon, they would give Muir’s their fourth outfielder they so desperately needed. Advantage: Muir’s.
This contest was tied at nine through three innings, and went back and forth all game long. After Muir’s half of the seventh, they found themselves with a 14-13 lead. After an impressive eighth that scored six, they led by four. Unfortunately for them, Bon Lane’s eighth was also a smash-hit, and they took back the lead by one entering the ninth.
Muir’s had the tying run aboard with three outs to play, with Stephen M. Brown due up in the inning (Brown was activated by Muir’s just before the game from the 15-day disabled list, but he started 5/5 with three doubles while resuming duties on the mound). Despite having the table set for them, Muir’s could not bring home the bacon, and they fall 21-20. Tren Armatage hit two homers for Bon Lane in the victory, and the addition of Turgeon to the lineup in exchange for a tenth player for Muir’s luckily proved not to be a fatal shot to the foot of Bushwacker team.
RBT was all set to battle the Cement Heads while Auto was ready-ish for Enviro Tec. The looming storm appeared to be closing, and it was overheard by one RBT player that “It must be electric out here because my nipples are hard.” Who this player is can likely be assumed by anyone who knows the team’s roster… but no, it wasn’t Vern Tipping.
The electricity– or threat of it– ended up being too much for the umpiring crew (and perhaps their nipples as well). Although it was not raining at the time, everyone could see, feel, hear, and even smell it coming, so the teams decided to bow out before everybody got wet. This latter game is set to be rescheduled for Sept. 7. Enviro is just one point behind Ackland’s for second-place. Unless Auto’s lightning can strike twice and give them another upset, it looks like Ackland’s decision to go double-or-nothing versus Auto will cost them second place (while that win for Auto puts them in a tie for seventh).
As for the other game, it is to be determined whether playing the game is necessary. If not, perhaps this will go down as the game that never happened.
The Year Ender Bender is looming upon us, as was the rain tonight.
7
Men’s League portray busy bees
Shaun Turgeon steals headline from Cement Heads
It was a comfortable night on Wed. July 27th for the Men’s League to get down to business. Although the Game of the Week was unquestionably the Bre Haul Truckers versus the Cement Heads, it was an astounding night for one Shaun Turgeon.
Auto had only nine players tonight on B Diamond versus the Bon Lane Bushwackers, so they looked to be in for a rough go. And they were.
The pitcher for Auto, who looked to be Jamie Austin, started with great success using a skyball pitch, Then, later (with apologies for the language), he failed to get it up, and Bon Lane had their own great success.
Previously much attention and adulation was given to Rob Lowes for hitting a bomb out of the large confines of Diamond B, but this week’s business is unprecedented: SHAUN TURGEON HITS THREE HOMERUNS OVER THE FENCE OF DIAMOND B… IN ONE GAME!!
To which point Lowes requested a drug test.
Auto managed 21 runs, a total that would win most football games, but Bon Lane bushwacked the piss out of Auto tonight by compiling 34 runs.
One play stood out in Enviro’s game versus Muir’s. When Enviro’s Murray Heeney was at second base, a ball was hit deep to right over the head of Muir’s Steve Aichmayr. Aichmayr retreated and caught the ball on a great catch. Heeney would easily be able to run to third after the ball was caught for a sacrifice fly. He did so, but, again, greed got the best of him, and he decided to try and take home plate on the same flyball! This has never knowingly been done in baseball history, unless the fielder breaks his leg after making the catch. Alas, Heeney decided to do it. Aichmayr snagged it, turned, and made a strong throw to the middle infielder, Dan Moore. Moore took the throw and made a stronger one of his own to the plate to peg Heeney on an incredible relay made possible by questionable running motives.
Despite this blunder, Heeney managed to score a few runs as did Trevor Fronchak. This play– though the play of the game– was not indicative of the result, and Enviro pulled one out versus Muir’s, 16-8.
In the marquee match of the week, the Cement Heads took on first place Bre Haul. The Cement Heads find themselves in purgatory with the standings. It seems they are stuck in position behind Ackland and Enviro, with room to spare on Bon Lane. Meanwhile Bre Haul will clinch top spot with a victory in one of their remaining three scheduled contests, which coincidentally, are against the other top three teams, Ackland’s, Enviro Tec, and tonight, against the Cement Heads.
The Cement Heads are a dangerous bunch who can hit with the best on any given night. Tonight was one of those given nights, unquestionably. However, they reached their quantity for homeruns rather quickly. One homerer, Dave Stapleton threw a teammate under the bus by saying: “You know when Gin (whose real name we’ll not disclose) hits a homerun that the ball is just flyin out!” Paul Davidson also hit two over the fence (both resulted in outs. Alas, they went over). Only five counted, but the Cement Heads hit an astounding 12 balls over the fence. Really, these are seven free outs for Bre Haul, but it didn’t even matter… the Heads were en route to 26 runs on the first-place squad.
After an eight-run second, the Cement Heads seized control of the game. Roberto Lowes, who is still paying homage to Roberto Alomar, tried to take back momentum by making a great effort on first base to snag a groundball in the hole. He then proceeded to complete the play by making a no-look, behind-the-back throw to first base. The only problem was that no one was there and the ball went sailing harmlessly into the fence. This was the story for Bre Haul tonight, as no one showed up when they needed it. Rather, the Cement Heads just put on clinics on both sides of the ball. In obvious frustration, Chantale Venick observed: “It’s like [Bre Haul] are hitting every ball right to them.”
Perhaps subsequently, one member of Bre Haul was more concentrated on his cell phone than the game. This player must focus his efforts if he wants Bre Haul to succeed down the stretch.
The most exciting part of this game for Bre Haul was after the ninth when they held an official fastest player event. The winner of the contest was Edwin Allgood, whose time was immaculate rounding the basepads. This contest, indeed, was better than the game for Bre Haul (they lose 26-11).
Sustained effort required
It’s a new day for the league… and this week– Aug. 3– sent a shockwave through the league. The main lesson to be learned was that quick starts need a sustained effort to capture the W.
Bre Haul looked to restore their winning ways. Their opponent would be the Bon Lane, who enter on a winning note, while the Truckers enter on a losing note. The streak is just one, but Bon Lane has one of two victories against Bre Haul this year.
Initially, Bon Lane had opportunities to score. Shaun “Shins” Turgeon looked to score from second on a hit to the field, but Pete Bellamy got the ball in quickly to the cutoff man. Josh Seitz had (and has) a nice snatch before throwing relaying the ball home to peg Shaun Turgeon. It was not confirmed whether the shins were breathing tonight for Turgeon, but it was probably the reason he was out if they weren’t.
Bre Haul started an onslaught early in the match. However, they must’ve been envious at the Cement Heads for hitting 12 over the fence against them last week and were attempting to do the same. Jeremy Baran pounded out a homerun as the second batter, as did the following batter, Chad “Solo” Box. Cory Austin also got in on the action of pounding the ball over the fence. They exhausted the homerun ball early with Bellamy’s dinger in the second. Just nine batters into their lineup, and Bre Haul was homerun ineligible.
That didn’t stop Bellamy from shining in the field again… A spite shot on the ground was hit in the hole beside him, now at second base. He dove and scooped the ball but was in no position to throw since the dive left him flat on his back in shallow right field. Instead of taking the time to pick himself up, he somehow found the strength, from his back. to throw it to first base in time to get the runner at first.
In big news for Bon Lane, Steve “Intense Bat Catcher” Hanson appeared to hit a shot over the fence in the field and rounded the bases proudly. Bon Lane kept sustained pressure on Bre Haul, scoring in every inning but two.
Entering the ninth, Bre Haul found themselves down a trio of runs. Inexplicably, a runner tried to stretch a double into a triple. The ball appeared to be there just before the runner and he was called out. Bre Haul was aggravated by the umpire, but trying to take third on a play when you’re down three and already in scoring position, is just not a conceivable idea.
Bre Haul’s final four batters failed to score tonight, making for a tough game. In the final seven innings, they went scoreless in the majority of them. Bon Lane did not, and correspondingly, they win 14-12. Amazingly, all 11 players for Bon Lane scored, with Shaun Turgeon leading the pack with three. Turgeon, Jeff Bonney, John Alonzo, and Jim “Beam” Bonney hit homeruns for the Bushwackers.
“They’ve beat us twice this year,” said Allgood. “It looks like they have our number."
Subsequently, Allgood has been optioned to AA Myrtle Beach to hone in his skills before playoff time.
Enviro Tec took to battle versus RBT, who have been showing signs of life as of late. The signs of life were present early, and until the fifth, RBT was winning. It wasn’t until the fifth inning that Envrio remembered how to bat, and they sprinkled a few runs in both the fifth and sixth. Then the amnesia wore off completely in the seventh where they sent ten men to the plate, scoring seven. This batch included Steve Heeney, who scored a team-high three runs, which came in consecutive innings. Enviro amassed 18 runs in the final four innings! They win, 20-9.
When asked where Reid Morrison’s boyfriend was, it was learned that RBT was missing Air Dallas Boakes due to midseason surgery in is pelvic region. Questions could be asked why, but people probably don’t want to know details because they could be grimy.
In other action (baseball action), in what would appear to be a 3-6 matchup in a standard playoff, Ackland took on Muir’s. In this game, it was Muir’s to bust out of the gates early. They scored their first five batters.
Directly after that, they cooled down immensely. They recorded seven straight outs, and failed to score for the next five innings. But Ackland was cold until the fifth also, managing just two runs up till this point. Then they picked up four starting with Jason Demuck, who led the team in runs tonight. In the next two innings, every player but two scored for Ackland, including five in a row at the top of the order to put them up on Muir’s.
Levi Smith was showing his worth in the field tonight at second base for Muir’s, but in the ninth, Muir’s entered down five. They needed a big inning to catch the Insurers. A few runners reached base, and enter Jon Chambers. Chambers hit a ball to left-center that cleared the fence, bringing the deficit to only two runs. However, they already made one out, and weren’t allowed to strike up a rally as the next two batters went quietly into the night. Ackland’s wins, 15-13.
The Cement Heads clashed with Auto. For Auto, number two at two, Will Charlton, showed excellent range (Smith wasn’t the only one showing skills at second base. Actually, second base was a hot position in the league tonight with many sparkling plays made at this position via the leather).
The Cement Heads scored seven consecutive batters in a ten-batter fourth inning to put them out of sight for Auto. The Cement Heads win 25-4 and extend their winning streak.
In the victory, Jeff Low, Shaun Swayze, and Jeff Thompson scored three times each. The bottom of the order outdid the top for the Cement Heads tonight, but tonight they hardly needed help.
Two scoops of raisins
On Friday, Aug, 12, the Men’s League played a slate of games to ensure that all teams played one another the same amount of times.
“Two scoops of raisins… in Kellogg’s Raisin Bran!” But on this night, two scoops of points was decided by Ackland and Auto teams for just the one game on instead of playing two whole games in order to make up for a rained out contest.
Auto showed up early, and put three runs on the board in the first and second innings while Ackland failed to score in the first. Perhaps Ackland was second-guessing their situation to double-dip on the game instead of playing two. Out to show that it wouldn’t matter, they put five on the board in the second.
However, when the third and fourth time through the order came up for Ackland’s lineup, they could only manage two runs (two runs in 22 at-bats).
After a four-run eighth regained the lead, Ackland’s found themselves up by one run. Had midnight struck for Auto and their chariot would now turn to a pumpkin?
Richard Bouillon was first up for Auto and he made the first out. It would be predictable that Auto would get close, but no cigar. Second batter was Luc Bertran, but he came around to score to tie the game. The potential game-winning run was Brayden Wylie. The slipper actually fit tonight for the Auto team, and he too, came around to score! The inning was accentuated by a Jeremy Vanderheyden homerun that scored multiple runs! Hitters who hit homeruns over the fence in the Burford League are not required to run the bases in order to save time. However, after hitting this bomb that put Auto in the driver’s seat of this game, Vanderheyden circled the bases, seemingly in vengeance. For those who don’t know, Vanderheyden’s leg was injured in a disgraceful action last year by some unruly young adults. His circling the bases has been a long time coming, and had to make anyone smile who knew the story.
Frances Floyd, part of the executive for the League and part-manager of the Auto team said: “We were hot all game.” Midnight didn’t strike for the Auto squad, and we’ll see if they can sustain their dominance next week when they take on Muir’s.
Speaking of Muir’s, Levi Smith pitched in the absence of Steven M. Brown, and he pitched well. As did Brent Dawes for the Cement Heads. They pitched so well collectively that through seven innings, this was the fastest game in Men’s League history. It was also the lowest scoring game of the year, and possibly all-time, with teams combining for a grand total of four runs up until this point.
Dawes held a shutout for an astounding 27 batters, as well as going 4/4. Mike Hewitt matched that, while Dave Stapleton had one more at-bat, going 5/5.
That’s when the Cement Heads decided they’d had enough and lit Smith and Muir’s up like the green jerseys they wear, blowing up for six runs. In this turn-around inning, the Cement Heads benefitted from a new edition to the team, Jeff Vansickle, who helped out not only with the bat, but as an exuberant third base-coach.
Travis Armatage– who had just openly debated a call from the umpire, as he has been known to do– had a ball hit in his direction, but committed an error as the ball went between the wickets. Cleverly, the umpire asked: “You gonna blame me for that too?” Armatage didn’t respond.
“I have the legs of Rajai Davis; I have the arm and power of Batista; I have the smarts of Escobar.” Apparently Muir’s needed more of Steve Aichmayr, who disclosed this quote.
The Cement Heads scored 13 runs, and the ump can’t be blamed for Muir’s only scoring in one inning. Just after it looked like they may be stuck in their position, the Cement Heads are closing in on third place with their six-game winning streak.
Johnson Bloomfield of Bre Haul Trucking shared a tidbit: “We have lost three games this year, and they’ve all been on A Diamond.” Lucky for Bloomfield and Bre Haul, tonight they played on B Diamond., staring down the Raiders of RBT.
RBT was utmost awful in the field tonight, committing a multitude of errors on make-able plays, and were not showing any effort on others… particularly catch-able pop-flys. On one play, there was an incredibly weak pop-up squibbed to first. Instead of walking in two steps and simply grabbing the ball before it hit the ground, the first baseman let it bounce. It spun foul, but to let it drop was one of the most curious decisions witnessed on a baseball field. That batter later hit and scored.
Taking over from the maligned Randy Allgood at third base was Joshy Seitz. Seitz was opposite of the fielding from RBT, dazzling at third. He may give Allgood a run for his money when he returns to the team… if Bre Haul will call him up?
After just a few innings, Bre Haul was comfortably ahead and looked to resume their winning ways after an uncharacteristic two game slide.
In other news, after four innings, Bon Lane was defeating Enviro Tec for most of the game. However, Enviro stormed back and took the game, 16-15. Enviro faces the first-place Truckers on Wednesday.
July 20
The men were back at it on the warm night of July 20, beginning to fight their way into playoff positions.
The first-place Bre Haul Truckers took on the team opposite to them in the standings, Burford Auto. And it got ugly, early. Edward Allgood, Johnson Bloomfield, and Chad Box scored three times each in the first three innings. The latter two hit homeruns, joining teammates Jeremy Baran and Randy Austin as longball hitters. Bre Haul had seventeen runs by the third inning.
Jordan Demeluenaere made a great grab in rightfiekd in the late stages of this game by running in, jumping, and then snagging. This catch was perhaps a makeup for a play earlier which was hit over the fence for a homerun, yet Demeleunaere kept running “back, back, back” as Chris Berman says, and reportedly ran right into the fence only to land flat on his back. To his credit, he got right back up as if nothing happened… and was undaunted to follow it up by making this catch.
After Kevin Seitz pitched an inning, he had enough, so gave the job away. Two more pitchers were brought in and taken out… not because of poor performance, but perhaps Bre Haul was showing off their depth. Last on the mound was John Bloomfield, who recorded his first career save.
The save was an orthodox one, as it came in only the seventh inning. This is when Auto threw in the towel and succumbed to the heat of the weather, or the heat of the Bre-Haul truck… no one really knows which. The bright spot for Auto was that they held Rob Lowes without a run.
Muir’s and RBT squared off, and RBT started this game just the way they envisioned, scoring three, including Dallas Boakes, Garrett Claxton, and Steve Knill. Muir’s meanwhile struggled out of the gate. By the fifth inning, they had but one run. Jon Chambers explained: “I don’t know what’s going on. We were hot the past two weeks, but now we can’t hit.”
In small increments, RBT kept adding to their total, not scoring in only one inning. Muir’s however, could not do the same as they failed get a grip on RBT ace, Garrett Claxton. Claxton commented: “We’re putting on a clinic.” One must wonder if he meant his entire team, or just himself personally. Whatever the case, RBT looked good. Claxton, Knill, and Greg Peters scored multiple times.
Steve Brown commented on their struggles at the plate one step further, giving a more detailed report: “We’re not hitting line drives… they’re all flyballs.”
After a questionable call at homeplate, Muir’s player Travis Armatage let the umpire know of his displeasure: “C’mon umpy! You owe us one already.”
The umpire responded in-kind, cleverly: “I guess I owe you two now.”
Despite being on relative fire and a lead of seven in the ninth, Claxton was just glad to finish the game. He commented on how it couldn’t end fast enough before he came undone. But that time never came for him and RBT tonight, as they turn some heads by taking out what was one of the hotter teams in the league, 12-5. Muir’s failed to score until their ninth batter, and ended the game not scoring their final ten.
Enviro Tec took on Ackland, in what appeared to be the game of the week. However, Ackland’s defense looked more like the Auto team has in the past few weeks, recording a slew of errors, looking silly as a team who hadn’t been known as a defensive defective.
Ackland’s failed to score until a Steve Kersey homer in the fourth inning, so they were playing catchup all night. In the fifth, the team hit their stride and sent all of their ten batters to the plate. This included three consecutive homeruns by a player identified as Gruz, Steve Kersey with another, and Trevor McDole. They scored their first six before the top of the order faltered and ended the inning.
Mike Heeney of Enviro was unquestionably the player of the game tonight. He came up to bat six times, and scored six runs, which included a pair of homeruns.
The top three in Ackland’s order failed to score in the game, and the team as a whole scored just three runs tonight aside from their big inning, Enviro Tec wins rather easily, 21-10.
Watch out for the Cement Heads! E even after their first two batters were ousted, they began their game versus Bon Lane by sending ten batters to the plate. The result was six consecutive batters scoring.
Bon Lane began the game in the third inning, sending ten batters to the plate, scoring five. Despite this, they would only score in three innings.
For Bon Lane, Shawn “Shins” Turgeon was sporting a new look for the league tonight. Why is not confirmed, but his pants were pulled up just below his knee. This is a common look for baseball players, however when employing this look, they have socks pulled up under their knees. Turgeon opted to let his shins breathe. It may have been more temperature-cool, but this would not be a wise style to incorporate on a slide. We’ll see if this style sticks, as well as if “Shins” sticks as his nickname.
Brad Boakes addressed reporters: “We had a coupla rough innings in a row [after their start], but we’ve picked it up.” Matching their six-run first was a six-run sixth.
Ryan Vansickle, who’s been possibly the men’s league’s hottest hitter over the past month at the least– taking over from Roberto Lowes– was pushing to show that while his play with the bat has been exceptional, he has more to offer. First off, a ball was hit on a rope to deep right-centerfield. Vansickle turned and retreated straight back, reached over his head and snagged the liner. The next play, he went the other direction by running in and catching it, basket-style.
14 runs in three innings is impressive, but considering Bon Lane went scoreless in the other six innings, the result is not so good. The Cement Heads win, 20-14.
Jeff Bonney and Steve “IBC” Hanson scored a game-high three times each for Bon Lane, matching Shaun Supremacist Swayze and Jeff Thompson’s total for the Cement Heads, who did so on just four plate appearances.
The boys will be back in town next Wednesday!
July 13
In the first game of the week on Wed. July 13th, Enviro Tec took on the first place Bre Haul Truckers.
Out of the gate, Bre Haul stalled… not scoring until the fourth inning. But Enviro could only put up two runs in their absence. In the fifth, Bre Haul found their gear and sent ten men to the plate, scoring six. After the fourth, Enviro hit a smog in the air behind the Truck, and didn’t score in the next few innings. In the seventh, Bre Haul found overdrive by putting up four insurance runs, beginning with none other than Roberto Lowes (who is paying homage to Roberto Alomar night at Rogers Centre this week by adapting his first name). In this seventh, after Bre Haul hit a ball over the fence– after already reaching their quantity for homeruns– Sue Seitz said: “The truck is full, but we’re still looking for more.”
They wouldn’t need more though, as their fourteen runs posted was enough. Bre Haul wins, 14-10.
Randy Allgood caught up with reporters after a game: “They’re a solid team– we hadn’t beat them in a few years– but now we’re playing well and it looks like we got their number. We’ve beat them twice this year. And we’re having fun.” As he said this, Chad Box ran by the interview and slapped Randy in the callous rear.
The League would like to wish a speedy recovery to Jeremy Baran, who, midway through the game, looked to take a ball off the nards. Rumours circulated as to why he opted to use his jewels to catch the ball rather than his glove, but no consensus could be reached.
Perhaps the greatest upset of the week was not by an underdog team, but rather by an underdog player. Jeremy Vanderheyden, whom told reporters just fourteen days prior that he was shutting it down for the season to aid his ailing knee, was back in uniform, stunning fans and players alike. “I went for a test the other day, and the test showed no structural damage,” said Vanderheyden. “So I’m good to go.”
Vanderheyden showed a lack of speed when running, but he never was the fastest to begin with. He still reached base two of four times, and looked to be in good shape while in the field.
Chase White made his men’s league debut for the Auto team tonight. He reached base 3/4 times, scoring once.
Muir’s meant business early, scoring six and seven runs in the second and third inning respectively. Steve Aichmayr and Travis Armatage scored six runs in just three innings. Meanwhile, Auto dug themselves into a hole by not scoring until the fifth inning.
Johnny Hunt though, made the play of the game by calling time while at second base. How could this be the play of the game you ask? Well, as people looked his direction wondering what he could be calling time for, he shouted: “I think I dropped my wedding ring.” His wife Melissa, looked on from the bleachers in obvious shock. Amidst the frantic moment, he found it… making it the greatest timeout in league history.
One reason Muir’s piled on so many runs is Auto’s defensive deficiency. Auto made many errors and questionable plays in the outfield, so Muir’s kept hitting it out there.
In the game, half of Muir’s players scored three times or more en route to piling on 28 runs. Leading this contingent was Geoff Patterson, who scored every time he stepped up to bat… which was five appearances. Chris Drong had an impressive night, scoring nearly half of Auto’s seven runs, while Brayden Wylie reached base 4/4 times.
In a game between teams trying to show that they’re better than mediocre, Bon Lane duelled RBT.
Eric Miles and Air Dallas Boakes both scored for RBT in both the first two innings, capping a second in which five consecutive batters scored, also including John Keczan, Reid Morrison, and Jamie Davis. But with these five in a row, Bon Lane really came out to play in their half of the inning– albeit being the bottom of their order– and cashed seven consecutive runs of their own.
Jeff Bonney was doing his part to hold RBT down by his show of great fielding in centerfield for the Bushwhackers.
This game was 8-8 for the longest time. From the second to fifth inning, it was knotted and the offenses were sagging. Bon Lane, however, would get up and enjoy their sixth inning where they would send the maximum ten batters to the plate and score seven of them.
In this marathon half-inning, Tren Armatage for Bon Lane hit a drive to deep right field. Eric Miles, patrolling right field, seemed to have a chance at the ball, but as he closed in the ball, he may have realized that no one was even close to backing him up. All the while, Grant Pitts stood in right-centerfield, watching Miles’ effort for the ball instead of backing him up. Miles, perhaps knowing he was all alone, pulled up on the ball and allowed it to bounce rather than sprawling out for what may have been a diving catch. Pitts never moved an inch and was more concentrated on his seeds than his responsibility of an outfielder.
After ten batters from Bon Lane, RBT could not learn by example and their limp biscuit remained limp. Two runs in five innings will not get the job done. Dave Bean struggled tonight for RBT, and was a poor showing, especially in the batter’s box. Bon Lane defeats RBT 15-10.
If a pendulum on a clock was exciting, the game of the day– the Cement Heads versus Ackland’s Insurance– would resemble a large grandfather clock, as this contest went back and forth. Back and forth. And then back and forth some more.
Ackland started the ticking, scoring five of six of their first batters. They bettered that inning with six runs in the second, highlighted by an unidentified player, who wore number 10, belting out a grand slam.
When the Cement Heads’ top of the order batted in the third, they got the hang of hitting and scored six runs, including a Ryan Vansickle homerun, his first of two on the night.
The Cement Heads had cut the lead to one in the sixth, but then things got interesting. Ackland’s sent their heart of the order up and scored seven in a row. The Cement Heads came back in vengeance, scoring an unheard of nine runs in a row!
Within this massacre, the catcher for Ackland’s made a questionable decision to move off the plate in order to catch the ball– virtually cutting the ball off– negating a play at the plate. In the next inning, the demons of that play must’ve haunted him so that the next time in which a similar play occurred, he stayed on the plate, and this time Ackland’s nailed the runner, Jason Sibbick, at the plate on a bang-bang play that could’ve went either way. This is the play that may have turned the tide, as the Cement Heads had scored every one of their previous ten batters. They failed to score in the remaining inning.
Entering the eighth, it was a tie game at 22 aside, But in the ninth, the Heads decided that although time was getting tough, they hadn’t had enough. Ryan Ferrish and Brent Dawes were first up, and they scored via a Paul Davidson homerun. Brad Boakes followed this up by with a RBI hit off the wall to score Nick Wright and Ryan Vansickle.
This put Ackland down a few with last bats, Their first two batters went quietly into the night, with the top of the order left to rescue the game. Shone Evans and Jeff Richardson had been a deadly combination atop their lineup though, scoring eight of ten times. This time, in the bottom of the ninth, with two out, in walk-off fashion they scored. Ackland’s wins a nailbiter, 28-27.
Speaking of fashion, Trevor Fronchak wore the pink helmet in his at-bats, and he wore it well. In the loss, Vansickle matched Evans and Richardson by scoring five runs.
On Friday, July 15th, the guys decided that the week had gone so well that they deserved more, so they put another four-game slate on the schedule. Bon Lane took on Muir’s, Auto tried Enviro, the Cement Heads fancied RBT, while Bre Haul tussled Ackland.
In the first mentioned tilt, Bon Lane started ablaze, scoring their first five batters.
As Bon Lane looked to take the lead with the bases juiced , it shames the league to admit that Adam Clement hit one harmlessly back to the pitcher, ousting their chance at the lead.
Muir’s never had an inning which they scored more than four runs, but they only went scoreless twice, giving pitcher Steve Brown a constant drip of run support. In the game, Dan Moore scored a game-high three times, en route to 15 for the Muir’s Diner team.
Despite scoring five in the first, Bon Lane could not match the first inning’s total for the rest of the game’s innings combined. Four runs in eight innings just won’t do it for ya, and Muir’s takes it, 15-9.
Auto defense is consistent. But it’s not such a great thing when you’re consistently bad. Enviro added to their misery tonight, by posting 30 runs on the hapless Auto squad. Steve Heeney, Matt Jones, and Chris Leroux scored four times each for Enviro. Bailing the Auto team out tonight was the fact that they only had nine players, making for a gigantic outfield. Perhaps they should’ve considered using four outfielders and only five infielders… especially on big Diamond B.
One would not expect to see Shaun Swayze on first base, but that’s exactly where he was for the Cement Heads as they took on RBT. And he showed that he is not a one-trick pony limited behind the plate, but his skills extend to first base, and possibly abroad.
After going silently in the first, the Cement Heads decided that was unacceptable and scored eleven runs in the next two innings.
This is when Grant Pitts, who scored in the previous inning, hit a homer– capping off five consecutive runs for RBT. This cut the lead of the Cement Heads down to a manageable three. RBT did not stop here, scoring in every inning past the second but one. In the sixth inning, RBT found themselves tied with the Cement Heads for a short time.
Jason Sibbick brought out a different bat than normal and admitted: “This bat makes me feel taller.” However, the result of the bat was a groundout to short, prompting Mr. Swayze to ask: “Don’t tall people run faster?” Sibbcik was not amused and did not respond.
The Cement Heads had a rampageous ninth inning though, scoring six runs to put them out of sight for RBT. Apart of the inning was Ryan Farrish, who while running the base pads, saw the wave-around-third-go-home sign, and promptly asked the third basecoach : “All the way?” in disbelief that his teammate’s hit had the power to enable him to score from first.
On the next play, Brad Boakes decided he should move on to third base, but decided not to slide. The ball beat him there and the no-slide proved costly as he was tagged out. The Cement bench couldn’t agree with his decision (or lack thereof) and yelled: “Slide! This isn’t the co-ed league,” as his wife, Melissa, looked on in frustration at the comments. However, she would later admit that she’s never seen him slide, ever. The Cement Heads may be wise to bust out the Slip ‘N Slide for Boakes to get accustomed to diving into a base.
In the end, RBT could not put up enough runs to equal the Cement ninth and they lose 23-16. In the loss, Eric Miles connected on a homerun, while yet another Boakes, Adam, made an appearance for RBT, scoring a game-high four times (nothing says family camaraderie like having four members of the family in the league playing for four different teams).
In the victory, Ryan Vansickle continues his hot play with a homerun, as did Paul “Mister” Davidson.
In yet another game of the day honours, Ackland’s took on Bre Haul.
Ackland scored in this game with an irregular pattern of bunches. They scored the first five batters they sent to the plate, then not one till the fifth inning. There they scored three consecutive batters, but then had their next six batters retired in order! When they decided to get hot again, in the seventh, they scored six in a row! They proved they can do it, but they need to do it consistently. Perhaps having a large lineup provides inability to get in sync, causing inconsistency.
In the eighth, with Bre Haul down three, Ed Allgood stepped to the plate and delivered a big base-clearing triple amidst a five-run inning, which gave Bre Haul back the lead.
But no hits were bigger than a ROB LOWES OVER-THE-FENCE-ON-DIAMOND-B-HOMERUN. The hit sent shockwaves through the league as the ball was hit to the deepest part of the field on an already outrageously deep Diamond B. Not many– if any– people can say they’ve done that. Asked for comment on the hit, Lowes said: “Check for a hole in Sutor’s roof (whose home is on King St. in uptown Burford).”
After that hit, Bre Haul’s lead was vanquished by the unphased Ackland team in the following inning. Coming through for Bre Haul– not so gracefully– was Randy Allgood, who scored the tying run in the ninth.
Bre Haul shut down the Insurers with a three-up, three-down inning in their half of the inning. With the game knotted at 16, someone must have called Bud Selig, because the audacity was had to call this game a tie, although baseball never has ties (except in that one All-Star game, thanks to Bud). Why the league has ties, no one is quite sure. In the tie, Josh Seitz and Ed Allgood tied the game-high in runs with Dave Zylstra.
After the game, Lowes admitted that Bre Haul was perhaps not playing with a full deck of cards, and their psyche may be getting in the way of that: “Sometimes you get complacent when you already have 12 wins. “ Bre Haul cannot brag about their winning streak any longer as the streak has been reduced to an unbeaten streak by Ackland’s.
The league is still ascending towards its peak as the dog days of summer hit and will play Wednesday.
July 7
Three-up, three-down innings draw ‘SOL’ in Men’s League
Beginning a week built on momentum for the Burford Men’s League, Bon Lane took on Enviro Tec.
Midway through the contest, Bon Lane fans were asking for mercy as Enviro-Tec scored multiple runs in all but two innings. “This is torture” was murmured among the Bushwahckers’ ‘faithful’ section of fans.
However, just then, Jim Bonney hit a homerun, and sparked Bon Lane to a fire. The next five runners scored for the Bushwhackers. Unfortunately for Bon Lane, the runs totalled in this mighty ninth inning were almost as great as they had in total prior, so it was not near enough. They fall 22-13. In the victory, Mike Schooley scored a game-high four runs for Enviro, reaching base every opportunity from the nine-spot in the order.
There were a few strikeouts in this game, which were reported as “SOL” on the Bon-Lane gamesheet, which subsequently was the story for Bon Lane, for running into a hot Enviro team.
Muir’s has been working up to something, especially after a solid game last week versus Bre Haul, and they started this week’s game with a boom. They took an early lead versus the Cement Heads and looked to keep the heat on, although most people at the park expected a bounce-back inning from the Cement Heads.
Steve Aichmayr, looking to extend the lead for Muir’s, made a questionable decision with none out to try and score when the ball was at the already at the cutoff man in the shallow outfield. The throw from the field looked to be in time, but was just wide of the catcher, pulling him off the plate.
Clint Brown hit a three-run homer in the seventh, extending the lead further. Was this the knockout punch to send the Cement Heads to the mats for the count?
Nick Wright was not done, and hit a big two-run shot to dig into the lead established by Muir’s. Everybody– likely including the Muir’s team– wondered if their bad luck would continue. Finally, after scoring a dismal four runs in the first seven innings, the Cement Heads scored six consecutive batters and sent the maximum number of batters to the plate that inning. After scoring one via the tenth batter, the ball was coming home– as is rule– and Shaun Swayze looked to score. The gun from right field– courtesy of Aichmayr– was right on target, and Swayze was narrowly cut down at the plate.
However, with that inning, the Heads had cut the lead to four with just one inning to play, a catchable deficit. Muir’s went quietly the next inning– three up, three down– setting up a Cement Heads ninth inning comeback with the momentum gained from the quick inning, deflating Muir’s already questionable confidence.
But the Cement Heads posted a choke ala Lebron James in the NBA Finals, going very quietly in the final inning (SOL). It was not so much Brown’s homer that knocked the Cement Heads out, though it helped daze their balance for the haymaker. The haymaker of an explanation mark was recorded when Jon Chambers stepped up as the tenth batter of the inning with runners aboard and blasted a smash high off the light standard patrolling left-centerfied. Game over… Muir’s wins 17-15.
Muir’s efforts in the passing weeks seemed to culminate tonight with a big win over the Cement Heads. In the effort, Aichmayr reached base 4/4 times, scoring a game-high four runs.
Meanwhile, Auto took on Ackland’s on Diamond B. Paul Gurney reported that Ackland’s was forced to bring a player or two out of retirement just to compete in today’s game. Since they were on the big B diamond, the promise is a lot of field for the outfielders to cover, so they did not want to go with any less than four outfielders.
Auto went three-up, three-down in the first two innings, not a formidable start, likely leaving them SOL for a win right off the beginning.
Dave Zylsta, recovering well from a blow to the leg sustained last season, was out to show the league that he remains a force, as he scored a game-high four runs. Ackland’s should consider moving him up in the order to give them more chances to drive in and score runs.
This game was never in question with Auto’s powerless start. Ackland scored 21 times, and win 21-9.
For whatever reasons, RBT seems to matchup well against Bre Haul. Today would be no different.
John Bloomfield has been upped to the clean-up spot in the batting order, taking over from the absent Chad Box, who missed the game for undisclosed reasons rumoured as hurt feelings.
For RBT, Alex Manning manned the field well tonight, making an impressive catch in rightfield. Not to be outdone, Cory Austin held fort in leftfield for Bre Haul, making an unorthodox basket catch.
Garret Claxton hit a triple to the wall in this contest, driving in multiple runs. Then, perhaps in homage to his upcoming Buck and Doe (which took place on Saturday), his face was spared by mere inches from a Cory Austin bullet throw to the plate on the sacrifice fly.
Keeping RBT right in the game on Diamond A, Floyd Davis hit a massive homerun to right field, entering the field of play on Diamond B. On the play, Greg Harrison made a valiant effort to grab the homerun, climbing the fence. However, he plummeted to the ground after flailing over the fence.
Struggling in this game for Bre Haul was Rob Lowes, perhaps to the surprise– and delight?– of the entire Men’s League. Abruptly breaking his league-high thirteen consecutive hits (which is reportedly a league record, taking over from Dave “The Diesel” Shellington) was an 0/3 start. After his third at-bat without reaching base, he explained “I’m just toying with the other team.”
Reporting on the Bre Haul Truckers sow start, Sue Seitz admitted “The truck is stalling.”
Air Dallas Boakes was not in a hurry to give the Truck a boost, as he climbed the ladder at third base to snag a Bre Haul line drive.
Before anyone could pronounce Bre Haul SOL, John Bloomfield validated his position of cleanup hitter by posting a two-run double. However, he failed to score a run tonight, which may be the fault of the two batters behind him, who also failed to score.
Bre Haul used the bottom of their order– Joe Slusarczyk, Kevin Seitz, Greg Hellifno, and Derek Vandeburg –to cash four consecutive runs in the fifth. John Keczan attempted to vindicate this for RBT by hitting a big homerun. Randy Allgood was not satisfied with this Youth Movement Keczan contributed to, so he took the hit by the next young batter, Dallas Boakes, on third base and disposed of him with good mechanics (unlike his tomahawk swing…).
In the end, Keczan’s homer was not quite enough, and RBT went SOL in the ninth with a three-up, three-down result. Bre Haul wins 10- 8. In the win, Josh Seitz scored 30% of the team’s total.
Speaking to his struggles at the plate tonight, Rob Lowes addressed reporters: “Not one player is Bre Haul… we have fifteen guys who are outstanding. When one guy has a bad game (which was Lowes himself this week), the team picks him up. The domination tour is back on!”
This was another exciting week, where the Men’s League can be tagged as anything but SOL. Come check out the action this Wednesday!
June 29-
No half-swings
On Wednesday, June 29th, the Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch league was in full swing ready to enter July and the homestretch of the season.
In an early match, RBT faced Enviro-Tec. RBT have been struggling, but they had four players who scored multiple runs, so that should bode well for them. However, Enviro started at the bats early, scoring six in the first.
Pitching for RBT was Garret Claxton. He was on and around the plate all night long and he helped his own cause with a three-run homerun. However, Rob Oliver hit a three-run homer for Enviro to counter that. Eric Miles also hit a solo homer for RBT, and scored a team-high three times.
Despite the opening stat, only five runners scored for RBT in total… so even if all five scored five times each, it still wouldn’t have been enough as Enviro collected 28 runs. RBT needs some equal production throughout their lineup. Dennis Ashby scored a game-high four times for the Enviro-Texers, and Kevin Wight reached base 5/5 times.
Adjacent to the game on the A diamond, was the game on the B diamond at Optimist Fields, which squared off the battle of the Bs. Bon Lane faced Bre Haul.
Rob Lowes has drawn some comparison to Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer, as he started the game at catcher going 5/5 at the plate. Possibly, this comparison is more just than you think considering Lowes ended the game at first base, where Mauer is rumoured to be headed to prevent overuse. Catcher in the major leagues is a bit more demanding than catcher in a slo-pitch league, so Lowes was being promoted to first.
Bre Haul comfortably took the game 17-9, and continue their dynamite play atop the standings. After the contest, Lowes summed it up for reporters: “Right now, Bre Haul is firing on all cylinders. We’re seeing the ball; we’re feeling the ball; we are the ball.”
In other action, the Cement Heads faced Burford Auto. Auto received news that power-hitter Jeremy Vanderheyden, who has been on the disabled list since last year, has been shutdown for atleast the season while he recuperates his injured leg.
Jason Sibbick assumed the pitching duties tonight for the Cement Heads, rather than Brent Dawes or Andy Vandewalle, the two usual suspects. Helping his own cause, Sibbick hit a two-run double to put the Cement Heads up early. But Auto hung tough, and stayed even with the Cement Heads up to the fourth inning. That was until Brad Boakes opened the floodgates which included an Andy Vandewalle three-run homerun.
Jason Spencer did a nice job for Auto on shortstop. But the job done on defense from the 6-spot was not mutual for the whole Auto team. The rightfielder looked to be experiencing lack of confidence as he let a few balls drop in just infront of him that were very catchable.
Paul Davidson made an excellent stab on a foul ball beyond first base in shallow right field, bailing out Vandewalle, who looked somewhat lost on the play. Shaun Swayze, who’s usually good for a soundbyte, said: “School’s out, must be weight off his shoulders!”
School must be out for the entire Cement Head team, and they won 32-10. Auto’s first four batters had 23 at-bats and yet scored zero runs. Ryan Demelunaere attempted to pick up the slack and scored a game-high four times, an incredible feat considering he accounted for 40% of his team’s runs. He also reached base 5/5 times, perhaps earning a spot higher in the batting order. Tying the total on runs scored for the Cement Heads were Boakes and Ryan Vansickle with four.
Muir’s faced Ackland. Ackland started this game on a roll with five runs in the first. Muir’s feared their dismal play as of late would continue. But they stuck around and had a chance to win.
After Ackland’s third inning, it didn’t look good for Muir’s. Ackland’s scored eight consecutive batters. Muir’s, however look unphazed as they cashed their next seven of eight batters.
In the contest, Dan Moore made a sparkling play at shortstop, backhanding a groundball in the hole and throwing the Insurer runner out at first base.
Muir’s played a better game than they had in weeks, as they were in contention to win this game with a formidable opponent. They needed just two runs to tie the game in the ninth but couldn’t convert any, stranding leadoff batter Steve Brown at third. Ackland’s win 17-15, just holding on. This game was a battle of third innings, which saw eight runs by Ackland and seven by Muir’s. Muir’s Clint Brown and Ackland’s Steve Kersey converted a game-high three times.
By now, the season in full-swing. Every Wednesday night, there are four games at the Optimist Fields! Feel free to come enjoy some baseball, hopefully free of half-swings.
June 23-
Week of one-ups
The Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch League was at it again this past Wednesday, kicking out the jams. This was a very exciting week that saw two games decided by the slimmest margins. We’re not sure if the schedulers planned it out like so, but it was a week of one-ups… where every game pitted the team directly above (or below) their own from the final standings last season.
Correspondingly, the Cement Heads, who finished second last season, took on the former first-place squad, Enviro-Tec.
Early in the battle of last season’s supremacy, Murray Heeney hit a pitch deep to centerfield over the fielders. As the ball was coming in from the field, he looked to have a comfortable triple. However, he let greed take over his baserunning. The cutoff man, Dave Stapleton, may have seen Heeney’s turn home as a diss, as he has a good arm. He promptly gunned the throw home nailing Heeney at homeplate easily. This play was not a smart one by Heeney, considering there were none out, and one of the batters behind him would certainly have drove him in from third.
Oddly enough, Andy Vandewalle had an off game pitching, walking in a few runs. He was wearing his Fast-shorts, but they weren’t helping him hit the plate. In all likelihood, neither were the pregame caesars…
A seven-run third from Enviro put the Cement Heads in catch-up mode, which seemed to culminate in the ninth. Down a few, Brad Boakes stepped up with runners in scoring position. He delivered a clutch two RBI hit which was followed up by hits by Shawn Swayze and Vandewalle.
With the pressure back on Enviro, they managed to get the tying and winning runs on base. Enter Steve Heeney. He smashed a pitch to extremely deep centerfield, almost leaving the big B diamond. Those runs scored, and since it was the bottom of the ninth, that was all Enviro needed. Steve Heeney hits a walkoff bomb to give Enviro the win, one-upping the Cement Heads 24-23, in an extremely exciting game.
Auto played the team directly above them, RBT. Jordan Demelunaere was very confident prior to the game, in fact guaranteeing a win to a few female fans.
Someone call the fire department, because RBT started the game on fire. They sent ten batters to the plate in the first, and six of the first seven scored.
This game pitted brothers against one another. Chris Boakes, a new addition to the Auto team, would face older brother Dallas. The two traded plays on one another in the field, as their mother, Sandi, watched in obvious pain as she was torn between her two baby boys.
The Auto Servicers must have called the fire department, and considering Optimist Fields is a stone throw away from the station, their response time is exceptional. They put out RBT’s first inning fire, and RBT couldn’t re-ignite things until the eighth. From the second through the seventh, they managed but one run!
Meanwhile, Auto stalled out of the gates. Dale Floyd perhaps needed to charge their battery out of the gates, because it took the Auto Servicer team three plate appearances before the engine clicked. Chris Boakes started the magic in a four-run fifth, which was followed by a four-run sixth and a six-run seventh to put them in great shape.
However, the eighth saw RBT reignite. After Grant Pitts scored, RBT found themselves down just four with six outs remaining on their side. The next three runners reached base, but only one– Dave Manning– scored that inning. With Auto not speeding away with the game, RBT needed four runs to extend the game. The first batter, Rob Elliott, scored as did the next two batters, Jamie Davis and Reid Morrison. However, needing only one more run to tie it, only Dallas Boakes could reach base.
Auto holds on for the win, one-upping RBT, 16-15. In the win, Chris Boakes scored three times, tied for most in the game. Tying him with three runs none other than Dallas Boakes. Dallas went 4/5, while Chris went 4/4. But Chris gets the win. WINNING.
Muir’s played the team above them from last year as well… this being Bre-Haul. This was Chad Box’s return to face the team he departed.
Getting Muir’s on the board early was Clint Brown. His RBI double scored Cory Paterak.
After the second inning, Bre Haul also caught fire. They had a five-run third, and scored every inning proceeding.
Steve Brown hit a homer in the game to straight-away center, and in the seventh inning, Muir’s tallied seven runs, including five runners in a row, which put them down only three runs. However, this was avenged by a Josh Seitz base-clearing triple with the bases loaded.
Tom “Air Jordan” Bell was trying to stop the bleeding by executing a jumping catch at first base with a hop MJ might give props to. However, the bleeding was too constant, as Bre Haul converted 28 runs.
Rob Lowes, who was joyously jubilant amidst reaching base 7/7 times, blasted a ball that almost reached downtown Burford. Alas, the ball was pulled foul. John Bloomfield scored five times for the Truckers.
As did Chad Box. Box went for four homeruns, three of which counted (he hit his fourth while the team was over the homerun limit, so was considered an out). His four homers one-upped Muir’s count of three. He was the story of the game, and it seemed he played with a vengeance. Like Lebron played Cleveland after switching to the Heat, Box was also victorious in a bit of a romp. But if Chad wants to compare himself to Lebron, note that James and his Miami Heat lost in the Finals (to Dallas).
(A note to this game was that Roberto Lowes reportedly sustained a lower back injury from carrying Bre Haul on his back every game.)
The final game also follows the one-up system, but it’s a bit of a stretch. Ackland, last year’s top seed played Bon Lane, last year’s last place team. So, even though it’s a little different, in a roundabout way, the method is still followed!
Ackland took the second and third innings to the bank tonight, going ten batters in both, scoring an incredible 15 runs between the two. It looked like a blowout was in the makings, as Ackland’s bats were white hot.
Tren Armatage was doing his best to keep the Insurers within reach though, scoring twice in the first two innings all by himself. Bon Lane sent ten batters in the second, which included a Pat Azzaparti homerun, his first of two on the night.
Ackland, though, kept putting a few runs in each inning, managing to put themselves at bay from Bon Lane. Gary Sparks crossed the plate four times in the win, as did a player identified as JD. Ackland compiled 29 runs. On the opposing side, Bon Lane’s Jeff Bonney scored five times, including a homer. Armatage also scored five times en route to 24.
May 11- In the offseason, the Burford men’s slo-pitch league had a mini-hotstove as teams tried to stock up on players. The decision to stay or switch teams is left up to the player himself, so in this sense, every player is a free agent.
The biggest free agent in sports history, inarguably, was Lebron James last summer in the NBA. He generated the maximum hype possible, and had everyone waiting on “The Decision”. He soaked up every bit of attention he could before announcing he was heading to Miami to join the Heat, leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers high and dry and in the dust.
While there isn’t really a Lebron James of the Burford Slo-Pitch league, there is a notable change. Lebron took his talents to South Beach; Chad Box decided to take his to Bre Haul. He made the comparison himself and commented on his switch from Muir’s: “We’re not here to make friends… we’re here to win championships. Not one, not two, not three…” ala what James said at his inane post-signing party with ex-Raptor Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade.
While Muir’s does not appear as angry at Box as the fans of Cleveland were for James, they had to be smiling at the result of Box’s first trip to the plate in Bre Haul white. Box managed just a measly foul out. That is not how Lebron would’ve planned it. However, Muir’s Tom Bell watched this happen but took the high road and did not utter one negative word.
Bre Haul debuted their regular season against the Bon Lane Bushwhackers. Rob Lowes of Bre Haul, always a storyline, started the year off in style that only he could. As Bon Lane took the field for the top of the first, in strolls Lowes on his cell phone, looking quite important (however, most people know him). He gets to the bench only to find that he has forgotten his glove. This is going to be an eventful season.
Bon Lane began the match on fire while Bre Haul stalled out of the gate. Kevin Hall hit a big three-run homerun for Bon Lane early in their ten-batter, five-run first, while Adam “C-Rod” Clement showed gold glove calibre defense in centerfield in the bottom of the first for the Bushwhackers.
Midway through the game, Bre Haul found their stride. Box hit a solo homerun, then Matt Vandewalle, also known as “Cat”, hit a big three-run bomb of his own.
After cooling down considerably (0 runs in their last 27 plate appearances), Bon Lane returned to bat in the ninth. They managed to load the bases and have the winning run at third. The hit was a quick-hit back to the pitcher, which was bobbled. In the fray, someone yelled “Two!” in attempt to direct the pitcher to throw it to second. However, this was the wrong play with the winning run scoring on the play. Whoever yelled that may have cost Bre Haul the game. Bon Lane, without Steve Hanson, edges Bre Haul 12-11.
As for Box, he should not worry about his switch of teams, yet. Lebron and the Heat stuttered out of the gate too. And just now, Lebron and Miami just advanced to the NBA’s Eastern Conference finals. If Miami is parallel to Bre Haul, Bre Haul looks to be in very good shape. Alas, they’re 0 and 1.
Muir’s, n’avec Chad Box, were not given any consolation for losing their slugger as they started out against Ackland.
Muir’s Clint Brown was not phased by the chilly night. He still wore shorts, but decided to wear high dark green socks, a stylish look that was probably warmer too.
Early in the contest, Muir’s had a very unconventional 5-6-3 put out at second base, as the ball deflected off of Matt “Kauf-drop” Kaufmann at third to Travis “The Cheetah” Armatage at short before being tossed it to second for the force out.
Later on, a Muir’s player shanked a lazy pop fly down the first baseline, really in no man’s land for the Acklnad team in the field. It was far too shallow for the right fielder, but Ackland’s Gary Sparks, who played first, took off after the ball. Like Willie Mays would have, he made an over-the-shoulder grab in acrobatic fashion before the ball fell in for a probable double, cashing multiple runners.
It appeared Nathan Ackland was overzealous to hit the ball as the ball ended up short of the plate causing an uncharacteristic strikeout.
In the end, Muir’s did not have the pop to keep up with Ackland, and they lose 15-9. Muir’s hopes this is not a sign of things to come as they do not want to have the year the Cleveland Cavaliers did when they lost their star, going just 19-63, only a .232 winning percentage.
Jeff Richardson of Ackland told reporters as the game was winding down, “We’re starting the year off right.”
In the simultaneous game, RBT took on Enviro Tec. RBT had a few rookies suiting up in royal blue. They welcomed Reid Morrison from Paris, and a local, Dallas Boakes. Boakes made a rookie mistake as he tried to advance on a groundball to short after the shortstop threw it to first, but was picked off at third. Boakes was sent an early reminder that this isn’t Burford Youth Baseball League anymore.
Making amends for his base-running mistake, he stepped up to the plate later on and smashed a homerun deep to centerfield., thereby earning redemption.
Garret Claxton almost made a spectacular catch in left-centerfield as he dove for the falling line drive. He appeared to come up with the ball, but as his body hit the ground, the ball slipped out. Dave Bean pleaded his case to the umpire for the transfer rule to be applied, where it is said the hitter is out because the fielder held the ball and committed the out, but lost the ball when exchanging from glove to throwing hand. Clearly, though, Claxton hadn’t established control, and he didn’t have to throw it anywhere. It was a valiant effort, both by Claxton and Bean.
Like Boakes, Claxton was attempting to make amends for an earlier mishap. When the bases were loaded with none out, he struck a groundball to third base. The fielder grabbed the ball, stepped on his bag, then threw it t first for a 1-3 double play. It was explained to me that Vern Tipping, not a rookie, seemed to misunderstood that since the force out was recorded at third, the force-play is not on anymore at home, and was caught in no man’s land as result. Claxton, although unconventionally, hit into a triple play.
After the play, Claxton said: “I need to step up my game.” He almost came through with this catch, but was unable to do so at this time. However, in his next plate appearance with runners on, he blooped a hit into rightfield beyond the third baseman. One runner scored easily, and the second runner rounding third was Bean. No one is quite sure how, but Bean tripped just past third base on an erroneous pebble, and completed miraculous fall, summersaulting into the fence. He still managed to score on the play somehow, and somehow managed to avoid injury. His route was not a pretty one, and may have cost RBT a run, but in the end, that wouldn’t be near enough anyway. RBT falls to Enviro 19-6, and receive 1 loss. Bean, however, received a 9.8 on the fall.
In the final game, Auto took on the Cement Heads. In the first inning, Auto had the bases loaded with just one out, and didn’t manage to score any runs. It looked to be a long night for the Auto team.
Ryan Vansickle hit a grand slam, but not so fast. The accountant of the team, Dave Stapleton, had the scoresheet and did not inform everybody that Vansickle was the tenth batter. The result of this was forfeiting these runs.
(In Stapleton’s defense, he was simply handed the scoresheet, and he scored 5 times in the contest… so the mistake, if pinned on him, is cancelled out)
While this could be a backbreaking blow for any team, the Cement Heads still liked where they were at with the Auto Servicers. They scored in every inning, and still won, easily, overcoming the tenth batter rule. The score isn’t important.
The Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch League is in session every Wednesday at the Optimist Fields of the Burford Arena. With the warmer weather scheduled to be arriving shortly, come enjoy it outside!
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