BURFORD SLO-PITCH

Hey guys,
So I'm gonna post all my writeups on here for everyone to see who doesn't / can't / won't get The Burford Times. It's in chronological order (most recent first), and I'll add stories as they're published.

YEAR-ENDER-BENDER IN FULL EFFECT: Men’s league crown decided

The Men’s League “Year-Ender-Bender” kicked off on Wednesday, Sept. 16 on The Optimist Fields. The tournament is very unconventional, and it appears almost like a “never-say-die”, triple-knockout tournament. However, it begun conventional, with the top seeds playing the corresponding lower seed. There are two ultimate prizes in the tournament, one for the winner of the tournament, and one for the winner of the consolation. The runner-up in the tournament gets pretty well left out to dry.
The first night of the tournament held beautiful weather: sunny, then as the sun set, it became cool and crisp. “[This is] perfect baseball weather” said Nick Wright of the Cement Heads, upon the beginning of the late games.
The top-seed Bre-Haul Truckers took on the streaking Burford Auto team, who were on a one-game winning streak. Every member of Auto scored a run but two. Unfortunately for them, every last member of Bre-Haul crossed the plate atleast once, totalling 28. The Auto winning streak ends at one.
The 4/5 match shelled Enviro-Tex and Muir’s for the right to face Bre-Haul in the next round. Both teams had the power to lock up better seeds, but couldn’t manage to do so. Fitting for a match between team separated by so little proximity in seeds, it was an incredibly tight game. As Muir’s went ahead by a few, Enviro fans were crying in the stands. Repeatedly, tears were being shed. Perhaps it was coincidence… but nevertheless. Enviro then mounted their comeback. Steve Heeney of Enviro was the man of this match, scoring all five times he stepped to the plate, including a homerun. Midway through the game, Enviro’s Trevor Fronchak reported that he smiles when he slides cuz he knows he’ll be safe. I’m sure he eats dirt frequently then, and he did so in the seventh inning, where Enviro sent ten batters to the plate, accumulating seven runs. As the ninth inning rolled around, Muir’s found themselves down six runs. They had a good inning though, sending ten batters to the plate. The tying run was on base, with Tom Bell upto bat. He hit it to third. Heeney fielded and fumbled the ball, and Muir’s base-runners got greedy trying to capitalize on the fumble. Bryan Durham broke for third. Heeney picked up the ball, and dove headfirst toward the bag. Durham’s foot, Heeney’s glove (with the ball inside), seemed to meet at third base at exactly the same time. He was called out though on the force, and Enviro prevailed 26-25. Muir’s looked like they were gonna pull off the upset, but they possibly could’ve used their eccentric fielder, Steve Aichmayr. Possibly their roster was too full though, as the last three batters in their order failed to score a run.
The second place team, the Ackland Insurers, took on the RBT Electricians. Ackland saved their big innings till the end, where they sent ten batters to the plate in the final two innings. Dave Bosnjak, Dave Zylstra, and Steve Kersey all saved homers for the final inning, where they went back-to-back-to back. Actually, every Ackland player scored twice, and only one didn’t score three times. Most cashed in four times. RBT’s slow start didn’t help any, as they waited until the 4th to score a run. It was too little, too late by then, and Ackland romped 36-15.
The remaining squads, the three seed and six seed, The Cement Heads and BonLane Bushwhackers respectively, squared off for the rights to face Ackland in round 2. The Cement Heads well-balanced attack was far too much for Bon-Lane to handle, as they tallied 26 in total.

Round 2 took place on Friday, Sept. 18. If you lose in round one, you can still make it to the final of the Year-Ender Bender, albeit it is a backdoor to the final. Fortunately for the teams, all top-seeds ended up victorious in their first game, making for a less messy tournament bracket (though it is still quite complicated where a win or loss takes you). In the first game of the first-round ‘losers’ (or NOT winners anyhow), the RBT Electricians shed BonLane, and as expected the Muir’s Diners defeated the Burford Auto Servicers. However...
In the ‘winner’ bracket, Bre-Haul took on Enviro in the first game of the tournament involving top tier teams. This promised to be a close contest, and it delivered as just that. Enviro scored in bunches throughout, while the Truckers had a strong start and strong last few innings. That brings us to the 8th inning, where a Bre-Haul player identified as “Guts” scored his fourth run of the game to go up by a run, 12-11. Enviro answered though in their next half-inning, scoring 5 runs. Mike Schooley was the go ahead run (his third), and Matt Jones etched his fourth run of the contest as an insurance run. Bre-Haul tacked on one, but it wasn’t enough to force a bottom of the ninth, and the number one seed falls down at the hands of the Enviro-Texers.
Speaking of insurance runs, the Ackland Insurers tacked on enough of their own to down the Cement Heads. Both losing teams will seek the backdoor to the final, taking on the winning teams of the ‘losing’ bracket.

Round three kicked off Saturday morning, EARLY. Well, too early for some...
The two teams who have not lost yet in the tournament took on one another, Enviro and Ackland. This would be the championship in a basic tournament, but not in the Burford Year-Ender Bender!!
But first off, two games preceded this contest. Loser of the winning bracket of the second round, took on the winner of the losing bracket. That means Muir’s took on the Cement Heads, and RBT took on Bre-Haul. However, the winner of these games is ineligible for the consolation. So, a loss may not be the worst things to win a prize. Muir’s has the firepower to the damage to any team, so they are a dangerous team. Spectators and players alike noted that bees were rampant at the tourney’s daytime setting. Muir’s fielder Dan Moore was identified as a true bee killer. Matt “Kauf-drop” Kaufman announced: “Watch out, Dan’s on his game today.” Unfortunately, he was speaking about bee-swatting, and not baseball. Nonetheless, their Muir’s squad was up on the Cement Heads in the bottom of ninth, by 2. But the Heads pushed, and with two outs they had two runners aboard. A walkoff single ended the contest. And despite a Chad Box grand slam, by the closest of margins, the Cement Heads defeated Muir’s 17-16.
Bre-Haul also overcame the Electricians.
With a win, since both Enviro and Ackland had yet to lose, with a win, they would secure a spot in atleast the semi-final, if not the final. The still undefeated team in the tournament remained to be Ackland, who defeated Enviro 23-20. However, the downside of this is the wait to play. This game was at 11am, and their next would be at 4pm. And there is a beer tent... this could be a problem.
In the two matches of teams who had been eliminated from the championship, Auto took on RBT, while BonLane took on Muir’s. The winners would square off for the consolation match. Muir’s took care of business, and the Auto Servicers, played unlike the Auto Servicers. They smoked the RBT Raiders, who looked like the NFL Raiders. Totalling 32 runs was the Auto team, and perhaps this game’s total was perhaps more runs than they scored all year combined!

The games slated for the afternoon were the Cement Heads and Bre-Haul; the winner taking on Enviro for a chance to play Ackland in the final. But recall, since Ackland has yet to lose, they would have to be defeated twice in order to claim the championship. Also, the consolation match was set with Muir’s taking on Auto.
First though, it was lunchtime. All huddled in the pavilion between diamonds, a ceremony was held congratulating several key people, and Bre-Haul was recognized for being regular season champs. Ray Reavely had other ideas though, and his interpretation of this was “CHUMPIONS.”
To that call, when Ray was called on by league commissioner Jason Sibbick, someone yelled “Stand up Ray!!” although he was already standing! I think Ray lost this verbal battle.
The winners of MVP for each team are as follows: Mike Oprey (Ackland), Kenton Pepper (Bre-Haul), Paul Davidson (Cement Heads), Brayden Wylie (Auto), Dave Slack (BonLane), Chad Box (Muir’s), Murray Heeney (Enviro), and though not mentioned at the ceremony for unknown reasons, Vern Tipping of RBT; while Mike Schooley wins the Bob Golden Award (for sportsmanship). Congratulations to all the winners! Even Vern... despite no mention at the ceremony.

The consolation final, between the Auto Servicers and the Muir’s Diners. How ironic is it that a team who had not won all season long until the final game, competes in one of two games with a championship possible? * Consolation champions, but nevertheless. It would be a helluva turn around.
The Auto team stayed in it though, and overcame their adversity. Mark Reavely even officially broke a bet, finally hitting a homerun this season! Albeit, a solo shot. But hey, he had to win the bet somehow, and he did. And however... the Auto team came back from 20 winless games, and overcame a quote heard earlier in the day from the bleachers: “Auto couldn’t beat a girls t-ball team,” to WIN the consolation title of the Burford Slo-Pitch league!! The slipper fits, and it may have been a stretch saying Auto scored more runs last game than all year combined, but what isn’t a stretch is that they won more games today than they did all year. I guess they wish the schedule held more scheduled day games, but I’m sure they won’t complain.
Since there were only two payouts, and Auto captured one... is that like second place??
Enviro, losing finally to Ackland in the tournament, had their second chance at the final. They would take on the winner of Bre-Haul and the Cement Heads for the right to play Ackland in the final. To cover this last match, the Cement Head team initially were finding all the holes. But that quickly subsided. Shawn Sibbick said during the match: “Baby Carson is the best player on the team today.” Carson, yes, is a baby, and he sat on the bench during one inning. That doesn’t bode well saying he’s the best for the Cement Head team. At one point, Bre-Haul’s Ed Allgood questioned the base-coaching of injured player, Lowesy. But we must note that all the runners on base at the time did score, so possibly the base-coaching wasn’t so bad. Bre-Haul eliminates the Cement Heads, provoking the thought: the Cement Heads can win all-Ontarios, but not all-Burford!! This league must be STACKED.
Bre-Haul were upto take on Enviro. Bigger and better things?? That remains to be determined, but the two squared off for a spot in the final. All the while, Ackland sits and waits, possibly in the beer tent, perhaps as bored as hell. Four Bre-Haul players failed to score a run, and there were only five hits between them. And the team’s juggernaut, run-machine, Ed Allgood, was limited to just one run. These all added up to bad news for Bre-Haul. But Bre-Haul put up a ten-batter inning in the eighth to lead by four runs. Enviro though, answered this splurge with a 6-run inning of their own. The last-bats got Bre-Haul one run closer, but the tying run, Ed Allgood, was left on second base. Enviro holds on for the win, 17-16.
Here’s the situation: Enviro vs. Ackland: win or go home for Enviro, while Ackland needs just one victory for the championship.
In the first game, Ackland looked like they were going to wrap up the title right then and there. But Enviro pushed hard to send the game to extra innings. There, the home side (Enviro somehow scooped up last at-bats in a game where they were the lower seed. This rule will be examined by the Burford Men’s League Board of Directors, I am sure) crawled in for the win. Ackland’s middle of the order struggled in this game, as Enviro forces a final, no hold back, win or go home final.
In Game 2, Ackland seemed to lose focus. Especially on defense, where they lacked the crisp play that earned them a high seed in the tourney. Jon Chambers said of a routine play in the field made by Enviro-Tex’s Mike Schooley: “He made that play with nothing but sportsmanship,” referring to the award he won earlier in the day.
The biggest hit of the season, the game-changer, the TSN turning point, was delivered by Enviro’s Kevin Wight. It was a base-clearing triple. This broke the game open, and Enviro never looked back.
Enviro-Tex claims the Burford Men’s League crown as champions!!


SEPT 9

The Burford Men’s League closed out its season on Wednesday, Sept. 9th. These games are to make-up for an earlier date which was washed away by rain. This week’s games of course held some implications for the Year-Ender-Bender tournament, which is set to open play this week.

The biggest game of the week was a duel of stallions (the top two teams in the league), the Ackland Insurers and Bre-Haul Truckers. Of course, they are mentioned in order of ranking, but would they be mentioned in the same order after this contest? But how perfect is a match of the top two teams on the final day of the season, with first-place on the line?
The hottest team in the league stayed hot, and Ackland on the other hand, while they have shown signs of fire this season, have shown lately they are struggling to stay lukewarm. Bre-Haul wins, 12-10.

In the other contest which drew top teams, the Cement Heads took on the Enviro-Texers. These teams are within points of one another in the standings. It was fittingly a back and forth contest, and no one could hold onto the lead. The Cement Heads led the Texers until Envio had themselves quite an inning. After feeling like he was not giving his team the best shot to win, Andy VandeWalle pushed passed the stubbornness and handed the ball to Brent Dawes to pitch. This change got the Heads out of the inning, and helped turn the tide. The Cement Heads rebounded to take back the lead by two for the final inning.
In the ninth, Enviro threatened with runners on first and second with none out. Bill Vandboyderugen stepped up to the plate, and perhaps trying to do too much, flew out. He set the trend for the Enviro team, as he was the first of three straight flyouts. The Cement Heads held on to the game, 12-10. These teams now are tied in the standings. To break the tie, we have to look into tiebreaking statistics. In the whole year, it appears as these teams have surrendered the exact same amount of runs! However, Enviro-Tex has scored a few more runs, so they hold on to the third-seed by the narrowest of margins.

There was one game on Wednesday between two teams who were locked into their standing no matter the outcome of the game. Muir’s Diners took on the RBT Electricians—aka the RBT Raiders— in a situation where “the teams are just playing for pride.”
PRIDE is the element in which Garret “Gold-Glove” Claxton thrives on to keep on ticking. Garret, socks pulled up to maximum height, delivered for his Raider team. The bases just so happened to be loaded for him, therefore giving RBT four runs via a grand slam! Also getting in on the homerun action for RBT were Grant Pitts and Eric “Uptight” Miles. Countering for Muir’s was Chad Box.
It was a pretty close game, until late in the contest where Muir’s held its breakout inning. RBT had last at-bats though, and presented a strong open inning, but in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Muir’s held on for an 18-10 victory.

Speaking of pride, there is the Burford Auto team. Despite not winning a game this season, the Auto Servicers have pushed on and continue to give games strong effort. Today, they took on the BonLane team, who have been reeling as of late.
Early in the contest, it seemed like the baseball gods were watching over the Auto team. BonLane made several uncharacteristic errors, which seemed to be on rather easy plays. Perhaps this was actually just a good amount of karma for the Auto team in exchange for all their efforts this season. But just as the audience was made to think that Lady Luck was on the Auto side tonight, the umpiring crew made several calls that were questionable at best, all of which appeared to be against the Auto side. Among them was a sliding catch in the outfield by Ryan Demeulenaere. But, as they have done all year, the Auto Servicers persevered on.
In the ninth, Adam Golan sealed the deal with a homerun. And much to the thrill of the league, Adam is an Auto Servicer himself! Yes, the Auto team has stamped out a victory in their final regular season match! It has been a close-but-no-cigar-season for the Auto team, but finally, they have secured a win. I hope they were Cubans, because the Auto team deserve a good cigar after a hard-fought season. Good on ya guys!!

And, we’re still not sure how, but the Cement Heads have reportedly won the All-Ontario tournament. How they won this and are not winning their own league is an unsolved mystery. Look for the handling of this issue in a future edition of The Times, and look out for the Year-Ender-Bender tournament, which kicks off this week and culminates in the championship Saturday.


AUG 26

On Wednesday Aug. 26, don’t you even worry, the men’s slo-pitch league jockeyed for position in the standings. It is a four-team race for the top-spot in the standings, the winner earning top-seed in the Year-Ender Bender, the league’s final tournament.

Two of these top four teams collided in a heavyweight match, those being the Ackland Insurers and the Cement Heads. Ackland leads all teams in the standings, trailed closely by Enviro-Tex, Bre-Haul, and the Cement Heads respectively. A loss in this contest may still find them in first, but less comfortably so. With a win however, Ackland would open a small cushion protecting their position. The Cement Heads have a tough end to the schedule, facing the other top four squads to close out the season. This contest proved their legitimacy as one of the top teams, taking out Ackland, 17-11. Next week, they will see if they can continue the surge versus another top team, the Bre-Haul Truckers.

The pre-mentioned Bre-Haul Truckers took on the BonLane Bushwhackers on the Diamond B confines of the Optimist Fields. In a tight match, the league’s most consistent team took down BonLane 12-10.

In this match that pitted the Burford Auto Servicers versus the Muir’s Diners, Muir’s took Auto out to lunch. Midway through the contest, as Travis Armatage rounded second, his nickname, “The Animal”, was eluded to in the crowd. Michelle Weatherbee, apart of the conversation, put in her two cents: “Ooh yeah, a cheetah.” Right Michelle… rerrr, good comparison :)
In this game, the umpiring crew were questioned for some of the calls made on Diamond A. It was pointed out the second questionable call was likely a “makeup” call for the first, and then it became a snowball effect. Luckily, the score didn’t end up close, and faulty calls cannot be blamed. Unless the morale of the Auto team is that fragile… which is possible, considering some of the players.
Jon Chambers hit a big three-run homerun in this contest, and this led a surge putting the game out of sight, late, 20-8. Burford Auto falls short again. But next week, Burford Auto stands their best chance of winning a game this season as they take on the team nearest them in the standings, the RBT Raiders.

The best game of the week held the second-place Enviro-Texers against the team opposite them in the standings, the RBT Raiders. For RBT, they have been in a bit of a tailspin. But tonight they seemed to have it all together, and you wouldn’t be able to differ the two from play tonight.
RBT had a strong inning where they sent up the maximum of ten batters to the plate. However, in the next half-inning, Enviro did the deed as well. Hitting long-bombs for Enviro were Stephon Leduc, Trevor Fronchak, and Chris Leroux.
John Keczan continued his strong hitting for the team, and by the time it reached the final inning, RBT found themselves within a few with the heart of the order coming up. Unfortunately Amy Rutherford did not see it, as she had already left to go home, succumbing to the “cold”, but regardless, boyfriend Colt Davis stepped up to the plate with runners aboard and time running out. Well he delivered... with a game-tying homerun!! Enviro could not capitalize on the Insurers fumble atop the standings.


The guys went at it again the next week, Wednesday Sept. 2nd. With the tightest margin of victory being nine runs, it was not the most competitive week in Men’s Slo-Pitch history.

We’ll start with the ‘tightest’ affair of the night, which was between the Burford Auto Servicers and the RBT Raiders. It’s no secret that the Auto Servicers are looking for a win for their season endeavours. RBT themselves, though, don’t have too many of their own.
It looked good for the Auto team as RBT only fielded nine players, scarcely spreading the outfield. RBT was trying to show that it’s quality, not quantity. Grant Pitts and Steve Knill capitalized on more at-bats by respectively scoring five runs and reaching base 6/6 times. Floyd Davis also hit a big homerun on the Diamond B confines, attempting to prove the team does not need the young buck Davis to win.
A six-run fourth could not catapult the Auto team above the Raiders, whom already had a five-run second, and a six-run third. The eight through fourteen batters for Auto didn’t produce, only scoring two runs, and it wasn’t enough for the Auto team to secure the much-heralded win.
Mis-play of the game was by Marc Reavely resembled Air Jordan as he ran across the field and soared through the air for the line drive. Unfortunately, Jordan sucked at baseball... though he did put up a valiant effort. Sort of like the Auto team, actually (Marc came up short on the jump). At the end of the season, the Auto Servicers should try picking up basketballs. Worked for MJ...

The well-oiled machine (possibly a truck) called Bre-Haul, took on the surging Cement Heads, who are eyeing up a backdoor into a high-seed for the Year-Ender Bender tournament. The Cement Heads have fared well with the tough end to their schedule thus far, and saw to continue the trend versus Bre-Haul. The well-oiled machine doubled and singled their way to ten batters three times in the affair, and Bre-Haul proved way too strong out of the gate, posting seventeen runs in the first three innings! Ed Allgood was a machine in himself tonight, reaching base five of five times, and scoring every one of those times. That's gotta be some kinda record... John B also went 5/5, scoring four times, en route to 29! The top six in the order for the Heads only scored twice... in the whole game! Andy Vandewalle reached base 4/4 times though, and scored three times in the loss.
I caught up to Randy “Bang-Bang” Allgood after the match, and he said: “Our bats were working tonight, and there’s just weren’t.” Simple, but effective... Randy Allgood in a line.

Muir’s also took on Enviro-Tex. Chris Leroux surprised the crowd when he took a big cut and totally whiffed. He made good on it though on the next pitch driving home three with a base-clearing triple... much to the satisfaction of faithful fan, Katie Keczan.

The first-place Ackland Insurers took on the BonLane Bushwhackers, who are in a dogfight with Muir’s for fourth place. Forced to sport the pink-helmet, Paul Gurney scored five times for Ackland, and with those stats, I don’t think I speak alone by saying he should wear it more often! Paul was apart of a string of back-to-back-to-back homeruns for Ackland in the 5th, with the others hit by Dave Barr and Steve Kersey. BonLane couldn’t keep up with that, and the team hopes they are getting their muggings out of the way now for the rest of the season. Ackland scored in every inning, thus laying a bushwhacking to BonLane, 26-11.

The League has a make-up week scheduled, then the Year-Ender-Bender tournament takes place the following week (not sure exactly when… I can find out)


AUG 19

On Aug. 19th, the boys were back in town… as in the men’s slo-pitch league.
First-place Ackland Insurance took on RBT in an early game.
Garret Claxton is apparently unsatisfied with the “Gold Glove” nickname, and sported a pair of knee-high socks. The nickname “Socks” was appointed, but questions arose as to whether there are some jealousy issues with teammate Matt Lehmann’s clothing nickname, “Pants”.
This game was close for a long time, with a surprising RBT team staying right with the top-seeded Ackland squad. But then 44 for Ackland hit a ball over the fence… of Diamond B!! That is a large hit… and Ackland came out of their shell with that, and took the win over RBT 18-10.

Over on Diamond A, the Cement Heads took on BonLane.
Tren Armatage was not on the ‘mound’ today, but he made an outstanding play in the field resembling a young Willie Mays, at third base though. His defense was not nearly enough for BonLane today, though. The Cement Heads layered 28 runs on the Bushwhackers for the win.

In other action, Enviro-Tex took on Burford Auto.
The Auto team kept it close, as they usually do, and it was a game that no lead was comfortable. Steve Heeney and Tom White each hit homers for Enviro-Tex. The telling play of the game was when an Auto player continued past third base, and attempted to stop at the commit line between third and home and turn back to third (if a runner passes this line, they are not allowed to turn around and go back to third). As the catcher fielded the ball, the runner’s foot slipped close to the line. The umpire immediately called him out on a call that could’ve went either way. The play symbolized the year the Auto team is having. The crowd disapproved, and to the disgust, the umpire remarked” “He’s gotta use his brakes.” In the crowd, in the direction of Thalia Tangorra, it was said, “Brakes? The team could use a break.” It is unconfirmed whether it was Thalia the one who commented, but she has a pretty name.

Last game of the week had Bre-Haul facing Muir’s. Randy “Bang-Bang” Allgood thrilled the spectators as he was egged on by the left side of Muir’s infield, shortstop Dan Moore and third-baseman Travis Armatage. Randy responded, as he always does, by saying “Okay, I’m gonna hit it right between you two!” Sure enough, on the next pitch… and the pitch was deep, unquestionably a ball, but “Bang-Bang” reached up and literally tomahawked the Steve Brown delivery… right where he said he would! The ball deflected off Dan’s glove, but third-baseman Travis “The Animal” Armatage picked up the ball, and from the shallow outfield, made the long throw to peg Randy out in a fittingly ‘bang-bang’ play. Maybe a few years back Randy, but nonetheless, it was impressive.
After Bre-Haul made yet another stellar defensive play, this time by shortstop Kenton Pepper, Jessica “PPJ” Kitchen laid out commentary on Muirs night: “They’re not getting anything tonight,” Nothing was going on for them upto that point.
Finally, Muirs finally showed up late in the contest, notably a homer from Levi Smith. But the damage from earlier in the game was still done, and Bre-Haul clung on to the win.
There are only 3 weeks left in the slo-pitch season, then that weekend is their final tourney.


AUG 12
The Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch League was back in the saddle again this week, with every team in action on Wed. Aug. 12. The week saw several interesting bouts, including a match of two top-tier teams, the Ackland Insurers and the Bre-Haul Truckers. Both teams have found themselves lingering in the top tier of the standings all year. With a victory, Bre-Haul could potentially move into second place in the league. Unfortunately for them, Ackland is the top-ranked team. It didn’t help matters that Bre-Haul only scored in two innings. This would normally not be enough, but they put up five-spots in both innings, and Ackland’s top six batters only produced two runs. Bre-Haul clung to their two runs by ageless wonder Randy Allgood en route to an upset victory, 12-8. In the loss, Steve Kersey scored three times for Ackland.
The Burford Auto Servicers are still playing hard, trying to etch a tally in the win column. This week, they took on the BonLane Bushwhackers, who last week walked over a Muir’s team pretty easily. Perhaps too easily, potentially making them vulnerable to a wakeup call from the Auto team. The Auto squad actually led Ackland, of all teams, last week going into the final inning. Things didn’t pan out, but maybe the tide was turning. Without further ado, the star of the match was #6 for the BonLane team, Tren Armatage. He is the pitcher for BonLane, and he also does well on the other side of the inning. He hit 2 homeruns on this night, and to compliment the swagger, sports a black, white, and orange vintage Baltimore Orioles cap, always worn backwards. Also connecting on a homerun for BonLane was Steve Hanson. In his next at bat, with his team at the limit for homeruns, Mark Reavely began to taunt Steve from the opposing dugout, trying to entice him to hit another homer: “C’mon Steve, prove you’re the biggest man in Harley!” Steve may not win this award, but he does win the award for Most Intense Batcatcher in the league. He takes the position to a new level, unquestionably. The play of the game though, was again, perhaps courtesy of a Jeremy Vanderheyden base-running blunder. This time it was a solid trip-and-fall over second base, earning him a 9.5 from even the French judge! The Auto team stayed strong (and sturdy, for the most-part); they’re shortstop’s defense was outstanding. And despite closing the gap to just two before their final at-bats, they couldn’t score anymore, and BonLane held on to acquire victory.
Muirs had a better week (while I don’t think that it was possible for them to not have bettered last week’s performance) where they faced a struggling RBT team. An 8-run 3rd for Muirs pretty well told the story of the game. While RBT did sneak into double-digit runs, Jon Chambers of Muirs scored three times en route to 19.
In the closest game of the week, the Cement Heads took on Enviro-Tech. The leadoff spot for a baseball team is usually reserved for the fastest player, who, most importantly, is the one who scores the most runs. This was not the case in this game, as leadoff hitters combined to go 2/11 with zero runs scored. It was the number three bat for the Cementers, identified as Janny, who hit 4/5 with 4 runs. Benefitting from Janny’s on-base accomplishments was Jason “Frog” Sibbick, who had 4 RBI and was also 4/5, including a near homerun in the large Diamond B confines, but was held up at third for a nonetheless impressive triple. Trevor Fronchak and Kevin Wright also matched this hitting feat, with Wright topping all at 5/5. Enviro used a six-run 7th and a four-run 8th to go up by one into the final inning before Shaun Swayze and his fellow Cement Heads had their collective heart broken by a deflating 3-up, 3-down final at-bat.


JULY 22
The Men’s Slo-Pitch league were back at, through the rain, on Wed., July 22nd.
This week, second-place Enviro-Tex squad took on the sleeper Muir’s team. Early in the contest, tracking an Enviro fly, Muir’s fielders collided heavily in the outfield. Steve Aichmayr, in newly (self) appointed “Aichy-wood” (ala Manny Ramirez’s ‘Mannywood’ in LA) still managed to hang on to the ball. “Just Manny bein Manny,” he said following the play. It was tight battle throughout, and Clint Brown sealed it with a diving catch in crunch time, as his girl looked on. From Enviro-Tex’s fourth inning on, they scored only the one run, which was not enough.
In other news, the Cement Heads, who have sat atop league standings all season, are now struggling. They faced the Bre-Haul Truckers. Bre-Haul fielded only nine players, and yet, the Cement Heads could not capitalize this, or on Scott Kersey’s 4/4, two homerun, five RBI night. Josh Seitz held down the hot corner steadily for Bre-Haul in the upset, 16-7. Edward Allgood was instrumental in the win, batting an incredible 6/6 times, and scored an equally impressive five times.
The Ackland Insurers were a bunch of pretty boys when it came to the light-rain, putting up a tarp over the bench, but can we be at all surprised considering the head of the sponsor? Paul Gurney waived such accusations and said: “Atleast we’re dry.” Indeed they were, and thhe first-place team responded well, posting 27 runs on Bon-Lane, which was more than enough for the victory.
The Burford Auto Service team remains to show signs of life, despite having yet to post a win. This week looked like their best shot, taking on the team who sits just above them in the standings, the RBT Raiders. For RBT, John Keczan’s hit enough triples in this contest alone that Garrett “Gold Glove” Claxton appointed him with the nickname “Triple King.” In the end, his triples were barely enough for RBT to trump Burford Auto. The play of the game was undoubtedly when Jeremy Vanderheyden hit a deep fly off the wall. As he was rounding second, he was not holding up. As he approached third, he looked to be safe pretty easily. Still, though, his father Harry felt it necessary to yell “DOWN” prompting his son to slide. Jeremy was almost at the base already, but like a good son, he obeyed, and attempted a slide in an awkwardly limited amount of room. The result was nearly sending the third baseman, Eric “Uptight” Miles, to the morgue! Jeremy later scored, came to the bench and announced: “It almost looked like I knew what I was doin.”
Yeah, almost Jeremy….
The league is looking like it is divided into three-tiers. Atop the standings, the fight for number one is between Ackland, Enviro-Tex, and the Cement Heads. Middle of the pack, still within striking distance, are Bre-Haul, Muir’s, and Bon-Lane. The bottom? I don’t really have to say them, do I?


JULY 15
On Wednesday night, July 15th, the Men`s Slo-Pitch league was in full swing. The first-place Cement Head team took on the Bon-Lane Bushwhacker, clinging to their slim lead on Enviro-Tex in the standings. Scott Kersey scored four times in a well-balanced attack for the Cement Heads, which included an eight-run 8th, to exterminate Bon-Lane, who had closed the gap to just one run after shutting out the Cement Heads for the previous three innings.
The Burford Auto team showed its first signs of life last week, drawing a tie. This week looked even more promising for them as they scored their first three batters who stepped up to the plate. Unfortunately, that was basically IT. They could not build on that feat at all, scoring just two runs after the first three batters (a minimum 24 batters, maximum 80). They got crushed 16-5 by the pre-mentioned second-place Enviro-Tex squad. For the Enviro-Tex team, Kevin Wright scored every time he stepped to the plate.
Meanwhile, Ackland Insurance, who are possibly the league`s darkhorse team, sits back in third position, well within striking distance of the teams ahead of them in the standings. They took on the struggling RBT Raiders, who are slipping their way out of contention. RBT fielded just 10 players, but yet every player on the team scored atleast one run. Unfortunately for them, so did Ackland. Mike Oprey of Ackland Insurance showed off his radical side by sporting a bright pink helmet. Safety first kids! RBT had a few homers in the contest, namely by Colt Davis and John Keczan. In the field for RBT, a player identified as “Beaner” made an outstanding grab, defying his height and soaring through the air towards second base for the catch. In the next half-inning, the Ackland second baseman caught the sharply hit grounder, bobbled the ball, scrambled, and then proceeded to launch the throw, over the fence! I don’t think anyone had ever seen that before. Mark Richardson picked up his teammate though, making a terrific stop on short during crunch time, diving for the ground ball, getting the force at second for the second out of the inning. Then Eric “Uptight” Miles stepped up to the plate with runners on to potentially tie the game. Promptly, it seemed, he delivered a shot over the fence! Unfortunately for RBT though, they had reached the limit for homeruns meaning his hit was as good as an out. Eric picked a bad time to come out of his shell, as his bomb shot himself and his team alike in the foot. Ackland holds on to win, with a homer by Dave Zylstra.
In what was likely the best game of the day, Muir’s took on Bre-Haul. It was tight battle throughout, but in the end, much thanks to a great double play turned in the final inning by the middle infielders, Muir’s held on for the W, 12-9. Hitting somewhat of an in-the-park homerun was Travis “The Animal” Armatage, who, I’m pretty sure, made two slides on the same play, and still eventually scored as Bre-Haul tossed the ball around the field. Bre-Haul was up for their final at bat when John Chambers sprawled out for game-saving play, robbing Bre-Haul of their comeback attempts.
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On Friday, the 17th, the men were back it!
In the first wave of games, the Auto team took on Muir`s. Muir’s quickly used up their homerun quota with homers hit by Matt “Kauf-drop” Kaufman and Chad Box. Chad actually tested the quota rule a few times, but the umpire wouldn’t budge on the limit of homeruns allowed. The Auto team rebounded from their lacklustre performance on Wednesday and played a strong game. In the 8th inning, down five runs, Ryan Demeluenare stepped to the plate with the bases juiced. He delivered a very imminent grand slam. In the next half inning, clinging to their lead, Muir’s got very fortunate as a spite hit ball hit the top of the fence, good for 2 RBIs rather than an out. This allowed the Muir’s team to hold on to their victory. Close but no cigar for the Auto team.
Scott Kersey was in question of a possible doping scheme previously, but the attention of league sceptics have swerved to another player, Chad Box. Is this Burford’s version of A-Rod and Manny? Nothing has been confirmed. Testing is not in the league’s current collective bargaining contract.
In a match atop the standings, the first-place Cement Heads took on the third place Ackland Insurers. For Ackland, Paul Gurney sped around the basepads of Diamond B for a homerun. Shaun Swayze of the Cement team took this telling tale of the game: “They are hitting the ball perfectly.” Perfect was equal to xx runs, which was more than enough for a victory.
RBT took on Enviro-Tex in the very late game on Diamond A. As fog begun to envelope Optimist Fields, RBT’s Colton Davis hit a ball that definitely had enough mustard to make it out of the park, but hooked just foul. So on the next pitch, he belted one a bit straighter on the correct side of the foul-pole this time, to collect a homerun foul and a homerun fair in the same at-bat! John Keczan belted a few homers as well, one of which salvaged an inning which saw a pair of unprecedented RBT fans at the plate. Meanwhile, Chris Leroux and Murray “Max-Effort” Heeney each hit homeruns for Enviro-Tex. Soon thereafter, Garret “Genuine Gold-Glove” Claxton ran the basepads and a few of his teammates were up in arms calling out his style. He eventually scored and was appalled at the accusations. If RBT had a few more runners like Garret, whom scored, they may have won!! By the final inning, which is an “open-inning” (meaning there is no “last batter” rule in effect for that inning), “Beaner” announced to his RBT team: “Okay, if everyone bats three times, we should be back in it.” They did not, and Enviro-Tex smothered RBT for the easy victory.


JULY 8
Tight week for Men’s slo-pitch
July 8th displayed a tight week for the Men’s slo-pitch league. The week saw two tied ballgames, one narrow defeat, and one game that broke the trend and wasn’t close at all.
First, on Diamond B, the Ackland team and Bre-Haul squad played to a 9-all tie. Ackland couldn’t cash in two 4/4 performances and 2 runs each by Scott Barr and a player identified as “Nut”. It wasn’t exactly a “choke”, but their last eight of nine batters they sent to the plate didn’t reach base.
Next on Diamond B, the winless Burford Auto Service team took on the scrappy Bon-Lane team. Bon-Lane is much in contention for the league title, and the Auto team clearly is not. They are not a team willing to be pushed over though, and showed strong morale as they mounted their comeback in their last at-bats. Being down by two, with a runner on base, Brayden Wylie hit an in-the-park homerun defining clutch. The Auto team didn’t win, but I caught up with Auto player Jeremy Vanderheyden after the game. He said it best: “We were so close, but hey, we didn’t lose…”
In the marquee matchup of the week, the first place Cement Head team took on the second place Enviro-Tex team. The Cement team had a homerun hit by Bill “The Cement Head” Olmstead. Also contributing was Scott Kersey, who tested the homerun limit in the game by belting out a few solo homeruns early in the contest. Opposing players and teammates alike were questioning him of a possible doping scheme. However Scott just shrugged it off, and chose not to comment on it. Late in the game, a questionable call went against the Cement Heads on third base while their runner appeared under the tag but was ruled out. Enviro-Tex capitalized on this, but were ultimately avenged by the Cement Heads, 15-14. Leading Enviro with 4 runs was Chris Leroux while Trevor Fronchak had 3.
Last week, rumour had it that the umpire drew pity on Steve “Aichy-Breaky” Aichmayr because it was his birthday, calling him safe when, as his mother described, he was clearly out. This week the Muirs team needed no help, defeating RBT by a total of 23-10. The RBT Raiders did get a homer from Eric “Uptight” Miles, but the team was clearly hurting from their loss of Matt Lehmann, who had job obligations call his name. Also contributing to the defeat was the loss of lustre from the Gold Glove in the outfield. Mostly though, the 6 through 13 hitters for RBT supplied no runs for the team.


JUNE 24
(not sure how, but this one is incomplete)
Proving last week’s power was not a fluke, Chris Drong stepped up to the plate with the bases juiced for the Auto team, and promptly delivered a grand slam. One fan said, “It didn’t look like it was gonna have enough [to make it over the fence], but it just sailed out.” However the Auto team could not muster up more than 2 runs beside the slam, and succumbed to the Ackland team, who scored as many runs in the first inning as the Auto team did all game long.
The Enviro-Tex squad catapulted a 7-run 4th inning, which enough for a 16-9 victory versus Bre-Haul. Bill Vandboyderugen and Chris Leroux scored 3 runs each for Enviro-Tex, who improve the team``s record
Andy Vandewalle’s homerun for the Cement Heads cemented the victory over Muir’s, pushing their winning streak to 3 games. Despite a homer by Steve “Aichy-Breaky Heart” Aichmayr, Muir’s were shutout until the 5th inning, including 2 three-up, three-down innings.
In a game between RBT and Bon-Lane, RBT had some Gold Glove-calibre fielding on their side. Outfielder Garret Claxton collected an extremely rare feat by recording all three outs in the same inning! He came back to the bench, revealed his glove, and lone behold, it has “Gold Glove” written right on the glove! Coincidence? Garret thinks not, however others are quicker to dismiss it. Also for RBT, Colt Davis upped his on-base percentage as he saw the basepads 5/5 at bats. RBT scored 10 runs, but it wasn’t enough as Bon-Lane ramped up 7 runs in the sixth inning alone, en route to 13.


JUNE 17
Inclement weather does not slow down Men’s Slo-Pitch
The Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch league overcame the inclement weather Wed. June 17th to get in their scheduled play. For one, the Cement Heads were unphazed by the weather conditions, nearly blanking Bre-Haul, 12-3. RBT got by the Auto Service, BonLane beat Ackland convincingly, and Muirs defeated the remaining undefeated team, Enviro-Tex.
The guys were at it again on a rarely scheduled Friday night, the 19th.
The Enviro-Tex squad was again walked over, this time by the Ackland Insurance team.
Burford Auto is moving in the right direction, and looked to have a handle on their game versus Bre-Haul. Playing outstanding for the Auto team was Chris Drong. Being cheered on by his girl and Pooch, Chris made a highlight reel catch up against the fence. After he recorded the third out, he was due up to bat that inning. Proving he isn’t a one-dimensional player, Chris went up and belted a home run. One helluva inning!! That home run wasn’t their only, as later in the contest the farthest hit ball I’ve ever seen at Diamond A soared through the trees in left-center field. Unfortunately for the team, late in the game, the handle broke off and the team succumbed to another loss, 17-16.
Meanwhile on Diamond B, the score exceeded expectation and appeared to be that of a football game rather than baseball. 33-23, the Cement Heads rolled RBT.
One good inning for Bon-Lane surged them passed Muirs, 19-12.
The baseball season is in full-swing, and things are just getting interesting!


JUNE 10
The Burford Men’s Slo-Pitch League have continued play into the month of June.
The second-place Bre-Haul Trucking took on Muir’s Restaurant on Wed. June 3rd at the Burford Arena’s Optimist Fields. Father-son combination of Randy and Ed Allgood both scored twice leading Bre-Haul to the 16-8 win. Early on in the season, Bre-Haul’s success can largely be attributed to stellar defensive play, namely by shortstop Kenton Pepper who has frustrated opposing hitters with some dazzling plays, turning a few sure-hits into outs.
Led by Bill Olmstead, perhaps not coincidently, the Cement Heads took on Bon-Lane Farms. It was brought into question if the Cement Heads had cement heads in their bats as they pumped out 10 runs in just two innings. But Bon-Lane was upto the challenge posting 15 of their own, en route to a 15-15 draw. The game was halted due to the later game following.
15 runs was nothing for the Ackland Insurance team, who cranked out an incredible 29 in their win versus RBT Electrical.
The auto industry has been immerged in tough-times lately. Is it really a coincidence that through four games the Burford Auto Service are the only winless team in the league? In a match of the undefeated versus the winless, the Enviro-Tex team took on the sector hurt most by the dwelling economy. The game held stench of upset, but in the end, The Auto sector succumbed to the Environment and could not hold onto their lead, losing 23-17. Like GM stockholders, Burford Auto Service is hoping they’ve hit rock bottom and are looking for the numbers to equal out.
Teams play each Wednesday throughout the summer and admission is free, so don’t hesitate to check out some local baseball action!